Virtue L Sex by Richard Medugno
This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent
Characters:
MS. BARKER, a middle-aged woman
JAX, a young man
YAO, a young man
ANGELA, a young woman
Setting:
The year is 2035. MS. BARKER wears a leather outfit and high heels
and carries a horse crop. She looks to be a cross between a ringmaster
and a dominatrix. She paces in front of a store in a mall, like a
tiger ready to pounce at anytime. The store has a flashy sign that
reads: "Virtue L Sex." There's banner in the window that reads:
"Mannequin of Your Dreams." Other signs read: "Computerized,
Ultranet-Enabled Life-sized Sex Dolls" and "Skin that feels
real!"
MS. BARKER: (speaking to audience) It's here. It's now. Sex
without fear. Let me show you how. It's here. It's wow. Let me
show you how. Get your safe sex here. You can do it now. Use the
ultranet and our patented almost-alive, flexible and versatile
sex-bots for out-of-this-world love-making.
(JAX and YAO approach.)
Greetings, eldies! How'd you like to dock the women of your dreams
without having to compete for her, without having to be sweet to her,
without even having to meet her?
YAO: Bullspam!
MS. BARKER:(laughing) No spam, ramhead. Step right in, get right on
and you'll get off right. Best thing in the universe for a couple of
eldies like you two.
JAX: (snorts) Hey, obsolita, we a no eldies.
MS. BARKER: Oh, pardon me, I didn't mean to hack your pride. Just
didn't see you with any sweetness so I assumed you and your
cube-mate here were browsing for a rousing
JAX: Well, you're wrong. We wasn't.
MS. BARKER: Ah, I see. Sorry, I didn't realize you were parallel
porters-
JAX: Spam no! Do we look like PPs?
MS. BARKER: No. Not really, but these days you never know
YAO: Hey, what's this Virtue L Sex stuff all about?
MS. BARKER: It's all about safe and satisfying quasi-roboto-sex.
Virtual sex.
YAO: You mean cybersex?
MS. BARKER: Awk, no! Shooting your wad with a video download on a
computer screen and risking a malware infection?! Ha, ha, ha. That's
so spurious, so archaic, so eldy.
JAX: I told you we a no eldies!
MS. BARKER: And you don't ever have to feel like one again. With
Virtue L Sex, you get a sex life and life-like sex. It's so nice.
It's sexual paradise. Imagine docking with anyone and everyone you
want.
YAO: You saying this is better than cybersex?
MS. BARKER: Awk! Does a black hat hacker spam in the cyberhood?
JAX: No! It can't be that good.
YAO: Yeah, can't be.
MS. BARKER: Would I lie, sweet-and-slow? Let me defragment you now.
Our patented Virtue L Sex robutt appliances feature a plethora of
whore benefits. Number one is distance sex - lovemaking with people
who live thousands of miles away. Just dial them up, turn them on,
project them on a robutt and go at it in real-time and have a real
good time, just like your lover is really there.
JAX: Whoa! Are you saying remote ass access? Are you docking with
me?
MS. BARKER: Would I dock with you, eldie? Now, number two feature:
sex with anyone and everyone you want - new loves, old loves,
celebrities, people you don't know but who've just photo-possessed
walking by.
YAO: Shut down that geedee spam, you key-stroking, load-imbalancing
obsolita!
MS. BARKER: Hey, I may be a legacy model compared to you two newbies,
but I definitely am not an obsolita. I can still rub out a worm like
you in my rug. (She pokes him with her crop) And this a no phishing trip to steal
your ID. This is a serious enterprise with functional over-the-ledge technology.
JAX: So how does it work?
MS. BARKER: All you need is a cash card and a video chip or even a
jpeg file and we can create the robutt of your dreams in milliseconds.
Or if you don't have anyone special in mind, you can create your
own. Blue-eyed blonde with big boobs and small tush and long,
lascivious legs. With a couple of clicks your got her.
YAO: This docking unbelievable!
MS. BARKER: Believe it, sweet-and-slow. You wanna big brown-eyed
brunette with small breasts, bodacious behind and tanlines. It's up
to you. Mix and match. Snatches of this, pieces of that. We keep all
your preferences on file so you can come again, any time you want, any
way you want.
JAX: No spam?! You can create us our own special robot?
MS. BARKER: Robutt. The sexiest docking doll on the market today. I
guarantee it.
JAX: So I can have a sex doll that looks like anyone I want to dock?
MS. BARKER: Looks, sounds, feels, smells and tastes like that special
someone. Yes! Now, you can prick anyone, upload any bloody celebrity
you wanna dock! And for thirty minutes you'll have an incredible
simulation of that famous person in one of our sanitized, fantasized
bedrooms to do spreadsheets, hyper-hijinks or whatever makes you and
your little eldy firmware happy. (to JAX) So who do you want to do?
YAO: (before JAX can answer) Jax wants to do Chelsea
Clinton-Kennedy!
JAX: Shut down that spam, Yao!! Why would I want to probe the
President of the United States with my toolbar? She's so
fossil-obsolitious!
MS. BARKER: Power is sexy, no matter the age. You'd be surprised.
Lots of my regular, middle-aged customers, males and females, want to
use their iProds on a Chelsea Clinton-Kennedy robutt. They love
thinking they're doing the leader of the solar system. And we make
it easy for you to proxy-plug whomever you want. That's why our
slogan is "When you absolutely, positively have to get off
tonight"
YAO: So how much?
MS. BARKER: Before I tell you that, let me tell you about rest of the
VLS benefits. Risk free sex - no fears of diseases, unwanted pregnancy
or commitments. And it can be any kink of sex you want - traditional,
oral, anal, rough-stuff, bondage, slave and master, electric and even
sonic. Any damn perv thing you can think of, can be doneIf you care
to spend a little more, we can set you up with a threesome or group
situationOnly thing we don't do is animals. Hope you two a no
beast lovers.
(Guys shake their heads)
The thing that you eldies need to understand is that Virtue L Sex
feels real. VLS robutt skin is just like human skin. Warm to the
touch, smooth and sweet smelling. Just like mine.
(She caresses one)
And don't worry about you-know-what, after every visit the robutts
are virus-scanned and completely scrubbed for our customers'
erection protection.
YAO: Damn madame! Are you disabling my fact checker?
MS. BARKER: No, it's the honest truth. Ready to rock, roll and
rumble?
YAO: It will really feel real?
MS. BARKER: Well, our motto is: Is it real or Virtue L Sex?
JAX: Hey, what does the L stand for?
MS. BARKER: Love. Virtue Loves Sex.
YAO: What does that mean?
MS. BARKER: Well, virtue means goodness, so it means it's good to
love sex. Sex is good, and good sex is something everyone loves. And I
can see you a not getting enough sex, much less good sex.
YAO: You got that down clean.
JAX: Can't ever get enough, can you?
MS. BARKER: You can nowfor a small price.
JAX: How much?
MS. BARKER: I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll give you the eldy
special. Two for the price of one, two hundred dollars.
JAX: We a no eldies.
MS. BARKER: Okay. Sorry. Four hundred then.
[end of extract]
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