This is SO Unfair by Chris Willesee
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This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent
CHARACTERS
Kerry-Anne Warsaw a student
Emilia a student, plays sick
Jessica a student, a singer
Tiffany a student, a talker
Clare a student, pleasant
Denise a student, poet
Brittney a student and hockey player
Talia a student and hockey player
Charmayne a student and hockey player
Annabelle a hockey player
Kiara a hockey player
Chante a hockey player
Sammi a hockey player
Mrs Warsaw Kerry-Anne's mother
Mr Warsaw Kerry-Anne's father
Jennifer Warsaw Kerry-Anne's younger sister
Mr Simmonds History teacher
Mr Thornton The Headmaster
Miss Freeston a teacher, enthusiastic
Stroppy Jones a local boy
Benny V a local boy
JT a local boy
Extras can be used as students and hockey players.
ACT ONE SCENE ONE
The scene is set in the classroom of Mr Simmonds at the Bouquet
Chrysanthemum School for Girls
(In class. Mr SIMMONDS' desk has various 'teacher' items on it;
books, white-board markers etc. There is also a large jar with the
words "Free Dress Moneys" written on it, the students are in
relative states of conversation.MR SIMMONDS ENTERS.)
Mr SIMMONDS: Ok class; settle down, everyone back to their seats. Put
the book away now Denise. There's a short message I have to read to
you before we start (he reads) "As you are all aware today is the
last day to hand in your free-dress money, so if you haven't done so
you can do that by putting your gold coin donation in the jars
provided". (About half of the student walk up and place their money
in the jar) Right then, yesterday we were discussing the women's
NUWSS movement in England in the late 19th and early 20th century.
Open up to the page where we wrote down the notes from the board.
(Students open their book letting out various involuntary reactions
groans, comments etc) Jessica, could you tell us what you remember
about the suffragettes please?
JESSICA: The oesophagus?
Mr SIMMONDS: No not the oesophagus, the suffragettes in the 19th
century.
JESSICA: Isn't the oesophagus in your body?
Mr SIMMONDS: Suffragettes, not oesophagus. The Suffragettes were a
women's movement who campaigned against injustice and inequality.
BRITTNEY: Like Miss Populia.
Mr SIMMONDS: Who?
TAHLIA: Miss Populia, from the canteen. She's the lady who makes the
lunches.
Mr SIMMONDS: Well, I don't know, does she fight against inequality.
BRITTNEY: I think so, she's always saying 'in a quality hamburger
you need quality ingredients. (pause) Honestly dearie, how can I be
expected to make tasty and healthy lunches with this sh
Mr SIMMONDS: (cuts her off) OK Brittney we get the point.
BRITTNEY: shhh aved ham she always says shaved ham.
Mr SIMMONDS: I think we're getting a bit off the topic. Emilia,
would you like to read the first section of notes we took down?
EMILIA: Sir, I think I'm coming down with something. I really should
be taking it easy today. You know not getting too stressed about
stuff.
Mr SIMMONDS: A bit of reading won't stress you too much? If you
wouldn't mind…
EMILIA: Actually, my mum says that I should call her if I get any
worse at school so I think this would be a bit of a risk at the moment
to…
Mr SIMMONDS: Oh, all right then, all right. (Redirects his attention
to Jessica) Jessica.
JESSICA: Yes sir?
Mr SIMMONDS: Could you read out the passage we took down from the
board yesterday?
JESSICA: But sir I have a recital this afternoon and Mrs Sutherland
says I shouldn't be using my voice to much, or straining it
unnecessarily if I don't need to.
Mr SIMMONDS: A recital?
JESSICA: Yes sir- for music. We're singing at Winthrop Hall later
this week and we need to all be at our best for the competition.
TALIA: Oh yeah, good luck with that.
JESSICA: Thanks.
Mr SIMMONDS: Yes, but surely a bit of reading won't harm your voice
will it?
JESSICA: I don't know Mr Simmonds. You'd have to ask Mrs
Sutherland.
Mr SIMMONDS: No, no - your right. We'd better just play it on the
safe side. Um, Tiffany? Could you read for us?
TIFFANY: I really would like to Mr Simmonds, but I don't have that
section here.
Mr SIMMONDS: You don't have the section here. And why not?
TIFFANY: We'll, you see, yesterday I took my books home to study for
the Health test on Friday, but then Amber my next door neighbour
with the lisp came over and asked if I wanted to go to the shops
with her. So I said I needed to do my homework but if we wouldn't be
to long I could do my health later. So I asked my mum and she was,
like, "OK but don't be late and I don't like you going out on a
school night and yadda yadda yadda" anyways, when we got to the
shops it turns out Amber just wanted to go there 'cos she knew Benny
V would be there and even tho we all know he's totally going to ask
Charmayne out on Thursday after hockey, she still thinks she's in
with a chance.
Mr SIMMONDS: Stop. Please. I don't understand what this has to do
with..
TIFFANY: I know! I recon if everyone knows you like a guy then you
should just make that guy out of bounds until you asked them out or
you're just going to make things bad for everyone else.
Mr SIMMONDS: No, I meant I don't understand what this has to do with
your homework and not having your book.
TIFFANY: Well that's what I'm trying to explain, I mean imagine
what state of mind I was in with all this stuff happening to me all at
once. Clearly my History book was the least of my troubles. Not to
mention old Billy Rickets from the fish shop told me I had to stop
taking his magazines and that they were for people waiting for their
fish and chips and that 'they're not just for the taking and
free' and stuff.
Mr SIMMONDS: OK OK. (he takes a second)
(Kerry-Anne steps out of the scene and addresses the audience. The
scene continues behind her in mime)
KERRY-ANNE: Is it any wonder teachers aren't payed much? They rarely
have to do any actual teaching at all. And you don't need a Masters
degree to listen to excuses.
That's my class. It's not always like this, in fact we're
generally pretty good but that's Mr Simmonds and we 'worked him
out' ages ago. We've pretty much worked out all the teachers now.
You know, worked out how to get around doing any boring stuff like
essays or reading. Mr Douglas was the easiest thou. Just ask him a
question about him. Anything! What book are you reading? Have you seen
any good movies lately? Where did you go on the holidays? Did you go
to the footy on the weekend? It doesn't matter what you ask, I think
he's just so lonely he'll talk about anything as long as you look
like your listening. And boy can he talk. One day he told us this
story about a young man who fell in love, got married, had kids and
then his wife died in some crash. It was really depressing, and took
the whole lesson. At least we didn't have to do any work thou.
We had this relief teacher one day back in year 8 who lasted 8
minutes. Brittney had bet Talia that she couldn't make her go
running from the room in under ten minutes. I was the official
time-keeper and she was wrong. 8 minutes and 11 seconds was all it
took for a bunch of year 8's to send a grown woman into a hysterical
rage. She was like a cross between a feral cat and a frightened
gazelle; all twitches and wide eyes. Sometimes I wonder what ever
happened to that teacher, and when I do I imagine she would make a
great milkshake maker (imitates a shaking milkshake maker).
Anyway, I'd better be getting back to class. Someone might notice
I've gone.
Mr SIMMONDS: OK OK. Denise, would you like to read the passage for
us?
DENISE: OK. But first can I read you this poem I wrote about it?
MR SIMONDS: About what?
DENISE: About the suffragettes in the late 19th century.
MR SIMMONDS: Of course you can Denise. I'm very impressed and would
love to hear it.
DENISE: (stands and reads as an expressionistic piece over done
and completely hammed)
Dark.
Deep.
People filter through the aisles of Kmart like a wave through the
gills of a snapper. Never stopping.
(yelling) "Why don't you stop?" (falls to the ground slowly
head up) Then there's silence.
The fight is over. The battle won. But not for us. The poor and
downtrodden.
Dark.
Deep.
(Denise takes her seat looking very pleased with herself, some clap
but most are stunned)
MR SIMMONDS: Thank you Denise. That was (hesitates, nervous laugh)
spectacular.
DENISE: Thank you Mr Simmonds.
(Denise addresses the audience)
Denise Caroline was born into a large family and grew up as a shy,
quiet and secretive girl. As a child, she felt she had no voice in the
world. You see Denise is the youngest of 8 7 of which are boys.
It's easy to become invisible in a house like that.
One day she snuck out of her bedroom window and walked to the end of
her block and back just to see if anyone would notice. her house her
dad asked why she was so late home from School.
She ran to her local library and sat on the ground in tears she
was sick of being invisible.* Then a book fell of the bookshelf a
book called 'The Raven'. She read it and couldn't comprehend how
such little words could express so much. She couldn't let this
experience pass by. She started writing and writing, and writing.
Always writing, especially poems. it was a way for her to express her
inner self.
Finally she talked her mum into sending her to a girl's only school
hallelujah. Since there are no boys at her school, she tries to
take every opportunity she can to be seen. Something tells me that
Denise isn't invisible anymore.
*( an 'extra' Librarian placing books on the shelf can be used to
drop 'The Raven' in her lap with a 'knowing' look)
MR SIMMONDS: Right then. The passage.
DENISE: Um, if you don't mind Mr Simmonds I'm feeling a little
creatively exhausted and I don't think I would do the passage any
justice reading it right now.
CLARE: I'll read Mr Simmonds
MR SIMMONDS: Excellent Clare. You go ahead.
CLARE: "The suffrage movement was.. (she is cut off by the bell)
[bell sounds]
MR SIMMONDS: Ah well, I guess that's all we have time for today. We
will continue on with this tomorrow… I hope. Please remember to
bring all your work with you tomorrow Tiffany.
TIFFANY: Yes Mr Simmonds.
(flourish as the students leave, all except Charmayne, Brittney and
Talia)
BRITTNEY: Mr Simmonds?
MR SIMMONDS: Yes? How can I help you?
TALIA: We were just wondering if we could talk to you about
something.
MR SIMMONDS: Of course. What is it?
TALIA: Well, as you may know, we have our first game of hockey this
week.
MR SIMMONDS: OK.
CHARMAYNE: And as you can see, that's really close and Mrs Tremayne
said that we needed all the training we could get. You know, just to
polish our skills.
MR SIMMONDS: That's interesting.
BRITTNEY: And we were thinking that we could practice after school on
Tuesday.
MR SIMMONDS: That sound like a great idea.
BRITTNEY: And you could train us.
MR SIMMONDS: (a little shocked) Pardon me?
TALIA: You see Mrs Tremayne says that she has netball on Tuesdays so
she can't supervise us.
MR SIMMONDS: That is a shame.
CHARMAYNE: Yeah, so, she said that we have to ask another teacher if
they could supervise us.
MR SIMMONDS: That does seem to be the case doesn't it.
TALIA: And we thought that you might want to do it.
MR SIMMONDS: Me?
BRITTNEY: Yeah, cos, you're cool and we really wanted you to help
us.
BRITTNEY: My mum says I started walking at 6 months and running at
8.
I've been running ever since.
I've won just about every sporting competition there has been at the
school, that's why I love it here the girls are so easy to beat,
and they take it so well. I use to hate to lose, absolutely hate it.
But then something happened.
In summer I'm in the Athletics team. The 110 meters hurdles is my
event.. This one time I was winning by about 10m, the biggest lead
I'd had all year. I remember I had time to turn around and wave to
my friend Mandy McIntire who was watching from the stands.
Well, at least I thought I did. As I glanced over my shoulder I saw
all the other runners puffing and struggling, first I started to grin,
then I began my wave totally forgetting my foot count and
crashed straight into the final hurdle.
So, there I was floundering like a fish out of water just 10 meters
from the line, helplessly watching all the other girls fly past me. As
I slowly got to my feet there was Mandy, and do you know what she said
to me? "I thought you were supposed to jump over the hurdles, but I
guess it would be quicker just to run through them". She didn't
care at all I had lost, and as we both stood there on the track
laughing, for the first time ever nor did I.
MR SIMMONDS: What about Mr Smith? Wasn't he your coach last year?
TALIA: We already asked him. He said, what were his words?
CHARMAYNE: (mimicking) "I have other work commitments outside of
school you know. You should ask someone less busy."
MR SIMMONDS: Oh well, what about Mrs Ford? She likes hockey.
TALIA: She has an art class or something on Tuesdays and she has to,
what was it?
CHARMAYNE: (mimicking) "I have a thousand things to do before my art
class. Get the kids from day care, get the shopping, go to the bank.
Really girls, I'm just too busy".
MR SIMMONDS: I see. How about Mr Sampson?
TALIA: No, he also has a life. It has to be you.
MR SIMMONDS: (sarcastically) Gee thanks.
BRITTNEY: She didn't mean it like that. It's just that we really
need someone to supervise us because we're not allowed to be on
school grounds unsupervised.
MR SIMMONDS: (Thinks far a beat) Just how many other staff members did
you ask before you came to me?
BRITTNEY: Nine.
MR SIMMONDS: Nine? Well that sure makes me feel special. Let me give
you a bit of advice about asking for favours.
TALIA: (incredulous) Favours?
CHARMAYNE: Advice?
BRITTNEY: What do you mean?
MR SIMMONDS: Well, if you are going to ask someone to do something for
you and for them to give up their own time.. (he is cut off)
CHARMAYNE: (in a huff) Argh! Don't bother.
BRITTNEY: Wish we'd never asked.
CHARMAYNE: If I knew it was going to cost us.
TALIA: Yeah, no need for the lecture Mr S. We were just asking you a
question.
BRITTNEY: Yer, we just want to have an extra training session. Is that
too much to ask?
CARMAYNE: I can't believe this. This is so unfair (the girls storm
out).
(enter Mrs Warsaw, who walks down the centre of the class leaving her
belongings next to the front student chair)
MRS WARSAW: Mr Simmonds?
MR SIMMONDS: Yes?
MRS WARSAW: Hi (they greet) my name's Jennifer Warsaw. I'm
Kerry-Anne's mother.
MR SIMMONDS: Arr, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
MRS WARSAW: I apologise for the intrusion Mr Simmonds.
MR SIMMONDS: Don't mention it. What can I do for you?
MRS WARSAW: Well, you see I wanted to talk to you about Kerry-Anne.
MR SIMMONDS: Sure, why don't we take a seat? (They sit). What is it
Mrs Warsaw?
MRS WARSAW: Well I feel a bit silly coming down here like this, and
I'm sure it's nothing, but have you, by chance, noticed anything
(chooses her words) different about Kerry-Anne lately?
MR SIMMONDS: Different Mrs Warsaw? How do you mean?
MRS WARSAW: Oh I don't know - Just different. Listless? Fidgety?
Distracted?
MR SIMMONDS: I can't say that I've noticed her being listless. And
you know teenage girls; distraction is part of their daily routine.
MRS WARSAW: (stands) That's just it thou Mr Simmonds. Kerry-Anne has
never been distracted in her life. She was an honour student in years
8 and 9. So why, all of a sudden, have her marks been consistently
sliding for the past 8 months? (get her belongings and dumps them
haphazardly on Mr Warsaw's desk) Let me show you some of her reports
and merit cards she has acquired through the year. I also have with me
her prize winning science project entitled "The Alien ant-farm a
study of ant colonies in the greater south-west"
(Mrs Warsaw unloads many document on to the table along with the ant
farm science experiment in a jar very similar to the 'free dress
moneys' jar)
And it's not just her marks Mr Simmonds. She is associating with a
whole new group of people. People, I might add, of which my husband
does not approve.
MR SIMMONDS: Well, as a teenager, Kerry-Anne's just trying to
(searching for the right phrase) feel out her boundaries.
MRS WARSAW: Feel out her boundaries? (Moves DSC a couple of steps)
What is she- a herd of cattle? All I can say is that I don't like
it. It's upsetting my husband and I don't want Jennifer to be
influenced by this… 'Feeling out of boundaries'.
MR SIMMONDS: Jennifer?
MRS WARSAW: Yes, our youngest.
MR SIMMONDS: I'm sure it's nothing to worry about Mrs Warsaw. All
teenagers change their friendships from time to time.
MRS WARSAW: Yes, I'm sure your right Mr Simmonds, but if you should
hear or see anything suspicious. You let me know won't you?
MR SIMMONDS: Of course.
(Over the next three lines Mrs WARSAW packs up all her stuff
including accidentally packing the 'free dress moneys' jar and Mr
SIMMONDS packs up his table and work bag/briefcase and the ant farm,
leaving the table bare).
[end of extract]
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