The Way to the Top by Ken Methold
CHARACTERS:
Geoffrey Hardy, a publishing executive
Marion Simpson, his personal assistant
Edward Bates, his immediate superior
Sir William McDonald, his boss
Betty, a secretary
Mary, a secretary
Various Voices, off stage
NOTE. The two secretaries can be played by the same actor
STAGING
The stage is divided into three offices, each represented by a
different desk with a different picture behind it.
The time is now
The place any business
SCENE ONE
The lights dim and the curtain rises. Geoffrey Hardy is at his desk,
feet up, reading the newspaper. We hear, off stage, the following
conversation
SFX. Buzz
SWITCHBOARD: (V.O) Textbooks Limited.
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Mr. Hardy please
SWITCHBOARD: (V.O) Hold the line please.
FX Buzz
BETTY: Mr. Hardy's office, can I help you?
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Quick Print Limited here. Mr. Johnson would
like to speak to Mr. Hardy.
BETTY: Hold the line please. I'll see if Mr. Hardy is free to take the call.
(FX Buzz) Hardy picks up the phone.
BETTY:: Mr. Hardy.
GEOFFREY HARDY: What is it now?
BETTY : Can you take a call from Mr. Johnson of Quick Print?
GEOFFREY HARDY: Oh all right. Yes, put him on
BETTY: : Are you still there?.
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Yes.
BETTY: Mr. Hardy is free to take the call.
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Thank you. Hello? Hello Mr. Hardy?
BETTY: : No this is still Mr. Hardy's secretary.
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Ah.
BETTY: If you put Mr. Johnson on the line, I'll connect him to Mr. Hardy
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Why don't you put Mr. Hardy on the line and
I'll connect him to Mr. Johnson.
BETTY: I think it would be much better if you put me through to Mr. Johnson
and I'll put him through to Mr. Hardy
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Yes, but I'm afraid Mr. Johnson gets awfully
mad if I do that, I mean, sometimes he's kept waiting.
BETTY: Yes, difficult, isn't it?
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Yes, I suppose it is
BETTY: Why don't we both count up to three one, two three? All right?
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: All right. if you're sure.
BETTY: : I am positive. Ready then?
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Yes.
BETTY: : Right, One
JOHNSON'S SECRETARY: Two.
BOTH SECRETARIES: Three.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Hello, Mr. Johnson
MR. JOHNSON: Mr. Hardy? Ah, yes, eh, good morning. We've just
received a re-print order for your publication "Efficiency in Business".
GEOFFREY HARDY: Good, good.
MR. JOHNSON: Yes. Well I thought I ought to let you know, we can't
possibly get it done by the end of the month.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Can't get it but it's perfectly straightforward
MR. JOHNSON: Yes, yes, there's nothing complicated about the book.
It's just that your people forgot to order the paper.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Forgot to ..
MR. JOHNSON: Yes, I'm afraid so and if they don't send us the
paper we can't print the book, can we? Now, I'm sorry Mr. Hardy,
but
GEOFFREY HARDY: Yes, yes, it's not your fault. I'll look into it.
Thank you for letting me know.
MR. JOHNSON: Yes, well I thought I ought to tell you personally, I
mean, as there seems to have been a bit of a mess-up at your end.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Yes, quite right, I'm grateful, thank you
MR. JOHNSON: Yes, well, I'll be hearing from you.
GEOFFREY HARDY: You will, yes, in a couple of days. Thanks again.
MR. JOHNSON: Right, Bye then.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Bye. (Puts down phone.) Damn.(Calls) Marion!
MARION enters.
MARION: Yes?
GEOFFREY HARDY Is "Efficiency in Business" one of ours?
MARION: Of course it is.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Oh, yes, well, I thought it was, I was just hoping
MARION: It's re-printing.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Ah, yes. Well, I'm afraid we've got a small crisis.
MARION: Another one?
GEOFFREY HARDY: Now, where's the damn file? (Speaks into his
intercom) Betty?
DAN: V.O.) This ain't Betty. I'm Dan in the Warehouse.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Oh Dan, I'm sorry, must have pressed the wrong
button.
He presses another button
BETTY (V.O): Yes, Mr. Hardy.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Bring in the "Efficiency in Business" file, please.
BETTY: Oh, Mr Bates has got it. He took it last night.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Damn, damn, blast!
MARION: What are you erupting about?
GEOFFREY HARDY: Johnson of Quick Print has been on the phone. They are
supposed to be reprinting "Efficiency in Business" but some damn fool here forgot
to order the paper.
MARION: I see.
GEOFFREY HARDY: And now Edward has got the file. He'll know exactly
what has happened before I get a chance to tell him, and it's just the sort of
little detail he loves. There will be an inquest that'll go on for hours. You know
what he's like. He'll have everyone in the company in his office before he's
finished, cleaners included, he'll find out who's to blame and then he will
decide it really is all my fault
EDWARD enters, carrying a file.
EDWARD: I've got the "Efficiency in Business" file here and there is something
I don't quite
GEOFFREY HARDY: I know! I know. Some damn fool forgot to order the
paper for the reprint.
EDWARD: Well, you're ultimately responsible, Geoffrey. You're in
charge of the publishing and Tom is in charge of the sales. It is up
to you and Tom to see that everyone in your departments performs in a
professional way.
GEOFFREY HARDY: Yes, Edward.
EDWARD: I mean, to forget to order the paper is not professional
publishing, is it?
GEOFFREY HARDY: The Production Controller responsible for the book is
a new girl. She
EDWARD: Then you should have been checking up on her work personally.
That's what management is about. There is so much amateurism in this
company, rank amateurism.
GEOFFREY HARDY: I think you're making too much of this Edward.
Someone has made a mistake, yes, and it's unfortunate, but it's
not the end of the world
EDWARD: It could cost the company a lot of sales, And it shows a lack
of attention to detail, it means someone is falling down on the job.
GEOFFREY HARDY: It's never happened before.
EDWARD. That's not the point, it happened now and, well, I don't
want to be unkind, but you let it happen.