The Role Model by Bruce Hoogendoorn
This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent
ACT 1
SCENE 1
Darkness. Then a voice…
SCOTT: (yells) Cancelled! What do you mean they've been cancelled?
Lights up revealing SCOTT and WANDA. SCOTT is man in his late
twenties, lean and athletic, a retired swimming champion. WANDA is his
manager.
WANDA: It means exactly what it means. They've been cancelled.
SCOTT: Not all of them?
WANDA: Yes, all of them.
SCOTT: Why?
WANDA: Why do you think, Scott?
SCOTT: For God's sake! This has been blown out of all proportion.
You'd think I'd murdered the Prime Minister.
WANDA: That probably wouldn't have bothered them. But it does bother
them that you slept with your best mate's wife.
SCOTT: He wasn't my best mate!
WANDA: He said you were and that's all that matters. And it doesn't
help that he's Australia's golden boy of the pool. You couldn't have
picked a worse person to do it to.
SCOTT: He's not so squeaky clean as you think. I could tell you some
stories -
WANDA: No-one cares. Because of this the public love him more than
ever and they hate you.
SCOTT: But I said sorry on national television. I almost bloody
cried.
WANDA: It's not enough.
SCOTT: They're a bunch of hypocrites. People have affairs all the
time.
WANDA: But they're not celebrities booked to speak at corporate
luncheons. These companies are very conscious of their image.
SCOTT: But I'm still an Olympic gold medallist! And I still have an
inspirational story to tell!
WANDA: But you're no longer regarded as a good bloke, and in this
country that is a cardinal sin.
SCOTT: It's the tall poppy syndrome. That's what it is. This bloody
country.
WANDA: Yeah, yeah.
SCOTT: Well, how am I going to make a living now? I was relying on
the motivational speaking. Seven thousand bucks a pop! I was going to
clean up this year.
WANDA: You still can, but we have to change your image. Turn you into
a good bloke again.
SCOTT: How?
WANDA: (pause) Well, you've heard of that surfing champion Layne
Beachley, haven't you?
SCOTT: Yeah.
WANDA: I saw on tele that she's got involved with some organisation
that helps girls get over depression.
SCOTT: Oh for God's sake! You're not going to get me involved with
depressed kids, are you?
WANDA: Will you just listen! Your career's on the ropes here. If we
don't turn your image around you'll have nothing! Just like Tracey
Wickham when she retired. And just like me.
SCOTT: Like you?
WANDA: I was a gold medallist, and when I retired I had to go on the
dole.
SCOTT: Yeah, but yours was only a Commonwealth gold.
WANDA: I still worked bloody hard for it!
SCOTT: I know, but -
WANDA: The reason I became a manager was to give swimmers
opportunities I never had.
SCOTT: (pause) Wanda, you can't do anything with a Commonwealth
gold.
WANDA: Do you want to leave the sport with nothing?
SCOTT: Of course not.
WANDA: Then shut up and listen! (pause) Layne takes the girls
surfing. The idea is that catching waves will cheer them up and give
them confidence.
SCOTT: Sounds a bit far-fetched.
WANDA: Apparently not. They've done studies that show people who
exercise are more likely to get over depression than those on drugs.
It gives them an endorphin high or something.
SCOTT: That's great. But where do I come in?
WANDA: You come in with the boys. And I found this organisation
called Beating the Blues that's perfect. They have a retreat at Trilby
Beach where they help depressed kids with confidence-building
activities and exercise. I suggested you could help with the
exercise.
SCOTT: Just exercise with them? I don't have to listen to them tell
me how sad they are, do I?
WANDA: I'm sorry, but you may have to.
SCOTT: Couldn't someone else do that part?
WANDA: No, because you have to get these kids to love you. And once
they start to cheer up, I get A Current Affair to do a story on how
you've changed from a sexual predator into someone devoted to helping
the youth of Australia. And the kids will confirm it by saying how you
turned their lives around, hopefully with tears in their eyes. You'll
be back motivational speaking before you know it.
SCOTT: Can't I just go to a hospital and talk to some sick little
kids instead? Maybe play a game of snakes and ladders with them.
WANDA: No. It's a far too obvious ploy to change your image. Whereas
with this retreat you can help the kids for six weeks without anyone
finding out, until I leak it to Channel Nine.
SCOTT: (pause) Well, how depressed are they?
WANDA: I think pretty depressed.
SCOTT: Not suicidal depressed?
WANDA: I don't know yet. We're meeting the retreat's psychologist
tomorrow and we'll find out then.
SCOTT: What if instead of getting better, one of them kills himself?
I won't be doing any motivational speaking then, will I?
WANDA: I'll try to get some who aren't suicidal.
SCOTT: Good. Maybe they could be just a bit sad. Like someone who's
just broken up with a girlfriend. Then I can help him by telling him
how I got through a similar experience.
WANDA: Caused a similar experience, don't you mean?
SCOTT: Why are you so bloody hard on me?
WANDA: Because…because of the way you dumped Amanda.
SCOTT: Don't bring her up. Just don't.
WANDA: And the way you've carried on since you've retired.
SCOTT: For God's sake. It was a one off.
WANDA: Yeah? So how many women - or should I say girls - have you
slept with in the last year?
SCOTT: Piss off.
WANDA: I should have kept a closer eye on you after you retired.
SCOTT: You're not my bloody mother.
WANDA: No, but I felt like it at times. I used to think you were
wonderful. Training twice a day, never drinking, never getting lured
into the party scene. Then as soon as you retired, bang! - you go off
the rails.
SCOTT: I deserved a chance to relax. I worked for it.
WANDA: I know you did. But did you have to gorge yourself like a
pig?
SCOTT: Who are you to judge anyway? You're the one who's come up with
the idea of using depressed kids to change my image.
WANDA: It's only because of your disgraceful behaviour that I've had
to stoop so low.
SCOTT: Do you realise your job is to actually support me?
WANDA: Yes, but sometimes I'd like to wring your neck.
SCOTT: (pause) Maybe I should get a new manager.
WANDA: Feel free to try. Who do you think will have you now?
SCOTT is silent.
WANDA: So, are you committed to my plan?
SCOTT: (pause) I s'pose.
WANDA: Good. Tomorrow this psychologist is coming to talk to us. So
what will you say when she asks you why you want to help these kids?
SCOTT: I want to save my motivational speaking career!
Blackout.
SCENE 2
Darkness. Lights up on WANDA, LOUISE and SCOTT.
WANDA: Louise Harris, this is Scott Martin.
They shake hands.
SCOTT: Nice to meet you, Louise.
LOUISE: Nice to meet you, Scott. Like everyone in the country I
watched your swim at the Olympics. It was wonderful. Incredibly
exciting.
SCOTT: Thank you. And may I say, that's a lovely outfit you're
wearing.
LOUISE: Oh. Thank you very -
WANDA: Louise is the psychologist at the retreat. When the kids need
someone to talk to, they talk to Louise.
SCOTT: That's great. It must be a terrific feeling to help such
troubled young people.
LOUISE: It has its moments. So what about you, Scott? Why have you
offered to help?
SCOTT: Well, I want to help those less fortunate than myself. You
know, put something back into the community.
LOUISE: I see. Do you understand what we do at the retreat?
SCOTT: I think so. Kids stay there to exercise to help them get over
depression.
LOUISE: That's part of it. They also do team building activities,
like theatre projects, and undertake counselling. Our aim is to help
them overcome depression without medication.
SCOTT: I'm glad to hear that. I think there's been way too much
reliance on anti- depressants the last few years.
LOUISE: So what role do you see yourself filling with us?
SCOTT: Well, I thought I could exercise with the kids.
LOUISE: Not too arduous I hope. They're not Olympians like you!
SCOTT: Oh no. It would only be a few hours a week.
And…maybe I could listen to them if they want to talk about their
problems.
LOUISE: We wouldn't want you to do any counselling.
SCOTT: Oh, good - I mean, I'm not really qualified for it.
LOUISE: We don't expect you to be. All we expect of you is to be
friendly and encouraging.
SCOTT: I can do that. So when do I start?
LOUISE: Well…
WANDA: Is there a problem, Louise?
LOUISE: Not a problem. More a concern.
WANDA: Please share it with us. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can put
your mind at rest.
LOUISE: All right. What concerns us is that you've had quite a bit of
negative media lately.
SCOTT: Blown out of all proportion. Most of it isn't even true.
LOUISE: I'm sure that's the case. But we're afraid if the media finds
out about your involvement with us, they'll descend on the retreat and
disrupt the progress of the kids.
WANDA: Totally understandable, Louise. But there's no need to worry.
If they somehow get a whiff of it, Scott's involvement will end
immediately. He doesn't want to cause any stress to these already
distressed kids.
SCOTT: That's right. I just want to help, that's all.
LOUISE: Well, I'm pleased to hear that, but…
WANDA: Yes, Louise?
LOUISE: There's just one more thing. And please don't take this wrong
way, Scott.
WANDA: He won't, he's a big boy.
SCOTT: Well, what is it first?
LOUISE: Well, I imagine that what you went though with the media was
extremely stressful.
SCOTT: That's an understatement.
LOUISE: Not the sort of thing you bounce back from right away.
SCOTT: What are you getting at?
LOUISE: Well…I'm worried that you may not be in the right frame of
mind to handle such troubled young people.
SCOTT: Yes, I am. I'm perfectly -
WANDA: Louise, you're quite right. It has been very stressful for
Scott. But now he's over the worst and he wants to find a new
direction and purpose in his life. And helping these kids is going to
do that for him.
SCOTT: In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if these kids help me as much
as I help them.
WANDA: And Scott could talk to them about his troubling experiences
over the last few months. So they can learn from his mistakes.
SCOTT: Well, I don't know about [that] -
WANDA: It will teach the kids that no matter how famous or successful
you are, everyone goes through tough times.
SCOTT: Well…I s'pose.
LOUISE: So you really feel up to it?
SCOTT: I do. I really do.
LOUISE thinks.
LOUISE: (pause) Okay then.
WANDA: Wonderful!
SCOTT: So when do I start?
LOUISE: How about tomorrow?
SCOTT: Perfect. How many kids will I be looking after?
LOUISE: One.
SCOTT: Only one? (to Wanda) Will that be enough?
LOUISE: Sorry? What do you mean by that?
SCOTT: Well -
WANDA: Scott was hoping he'd be able to help more kids than that.
LOUISE: I understand, but I only have one person I can place with you
at the moment. The rest of them have already settled into the program.
We don't want to disrupt that.
WANDA: No, of course not.
LOUISE: And the advantage is you'll have a chance to find out if it's
really the thing for you.
SCOTT: It is the thing for me. I know it is.
LOUISE: Most people think that beforehand, but when faced with the
reality of dealing with depressed young people, they find it isn't
what they expected.
WANDA: Very good point, Louise.
LOUISE: And I wouldn't be surprised if you manage to achieve a great
deal more with one person than with a whole group. You'll be able to
have a much closer relationship.
WANDA: Yes, I can see that working. You could be like a big brother.
SCOTT: Well, what's this kid like?
LOUISE: His name is Adam and he's fifteen. To be honest he's a bit
reclusive. He doesn't enter into many activities, and doesn't open up
much.
SCOTT: Well, why do you think I'll be able to help him?
LOUISE: You have an advantage - you're a celebrity. That's bound to
excite his interest.
SCOTT: (pause) He's not suicidal, is he?
LOUISE: (pause) Some indicators suggest he might be.
SCOTT looks worried.
LOUISE: Are you okay?
SCOTT: I'm starting to feel a bit nervous. It seems very real all of
a sudden.
LOUISE: I know what you mean. You suddenly feel a great deal of
responsibility on your shoulders. But don't worry, I'll be there to
give you support.
SCOTT: Maybe I'd feel better if we could discuss it in more depth.
Perhaps over dinner tonight?
WANDA: (quickly) So where and when will we meet you tomorrow,
Louise?
LOUISE: Um…I thought we could go to Trilby beach. Take him for a
swim. The retreat is only a few minutes away.
WANDA: Lovely. How would ten be?
LOUISE: Great.
SCOTT: What about tonight, Louise?
WANDA: You're booked for that thing.
SCOTT: What thing?
WANDA: Thanks for coming, Louise. We look forward to seeing you
tomorrow.
LOUISE: Me too. Goodbye, Scott.
SCOTT: 'Bye, Louise.
They shake hands. WANDA walks her out, then returns.
WANDA: Are you a total idiot?
SCOTT: What are you talking about?
WANDA: You were trying to crack onto the psychologist.
SCOTT: I was not. I just wanted to discuss it in more detail.
WANDA: Scott, save the lies for yourself. The last thing we need is
your cock jeopardising the save-Scott's-career campaign.
SCOTT: Yeah, all right. She is cute, though.
WANDA: She's not your type. She's too intelligent. She'd see through
you in a minute.
SCOTT: Oh yeah?
WANDA: Don't take that as a challenge. I'll be watching you like a
hawk, and if you so much as stare at her I'll handcuff myself to you
day and night.
SCOTT: God, that'd be the end of my libido.
WANDA: I wish. Now promise me that you will save all your energies
for cheering up little Adam.
SCOTT: I promise. Little Adam will feel like big Adam after I'm
through with him.
WANDA: Let's hope so. Or it's Centrelink here we come.
Blackout
[end of extract]
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