The Death of Me by John Trent
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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must not be Performed, Copied or Sold without the Author's prior consentSCENE 1
Lights come up on a street corner
A man is standing near a bus stop looking rather down hearted and
concerned
He's maybe mid-thirties, but the years have seem to taken a toll on
him
After a brief moment another man walks up to the bus stop
He is in his late twenties or early thirties
His cheerfulness and friendliness are rather annoying
He keeps his distance from the first man
After a few glances towards the first man, he speaks
SECOND MAN: Are you ok? You seem like you have the burden of the whole
world on your shoulders.
FIRST MAN: I'm fine.
SECOND MAN: You need someone to talk to?
FIRST MAN: Why do you assume I need someone to talk to?
SECOND MAN: You just seem like you have a lot on your mindlike you
need someone to talk to.
FIRST MAN: And you're that someone?
SECOND MAN: Probably not. I don't like listening to other people's
problems.
FIRST MAN: Then why did you ask if I needed someone to talk to?
SECOND MAN: I don't really care. I just really wanted to find out if
the bus has come by or not. Didn't want to miss my bus.
FIRST MAN: If it did come by, do you think I would be standing here?
SECOND MAN: Good point.
Pause
FIRST MAN: If you just wanted to know about the bus, why did you
bother asking if I was ok and needed someone to talk to? Why didn't
you just ask me about the bus?
SECOND MAN: Wasn't sure if you were waiting for the bus.
FIRST MAN: I would prefer an airplane. Get the job done a little
quicker, but airplanes don't come to the bus stop that often.
SECOND MAN: The airport is miles away. Anyway, I don't thinkI get
it. It was a joke.
Looking down the street
SECOND MAN: Looks like the bus is coming now.
FIRST MAN: Well, if you will excuse me. I have a bus to catch before
it fly's away.
Runs offstage
SECOND MAN: He's a really odd man. (Yelling offstage) Wait! What are
you doing? Watch out!
Tires screech and a loud thud
SECOND MAN: Oh no. That wasn't good. It looked like he ran in front
of that bus on purpose.
BLAKE enters from opposite side
Crosses over towards SECOND MAN
BLAKE: What happened?
SECOND MAN: (Doesn't turn towards BLAKE) That guy ran in front of
the bus. I think he did it on purpose.
BLAKE: Why do you think that?
SECOND MAN: Probably because I said he needed someone to talk to.
BLAKE: What?
SECOND MAN: I can't believe someone would do that.
BLAKE: Did you know him?
SECOND MAN: No. I didn't. I was just trying to be friendly and he
seemed to have gotten annoyed. That's when he ran out in front of
the bus.
BLAKE: That's too bad. My mother-in-law is annoying, but I
wouldn't jump in front of a bus. I would push her in front of it
instead.
SECOND MAN: It's horrible.
BLAKE: You haven't met my mother-in-law.
SECOND MAN: No. That someone would end their life like
thathimthat man. Now I am probably going to have to wait for the
next bus. Do you know what time the next bus comes?
SECOND MAN turns towards BLAKE and sees who he's talking to
He looks frightened
BLAKE: What's wrong? You look like you have seen a ghost.
SECOND MAN: I think I'm seeing one now.
BLAKE: What do you mean?
SECOND MAN: You! You're the man that jumped in front of the bus.
You're dead! You're lying over there dead!
BLAKE: I don't think I was hit by a bus. If I was, I think I would
remember.
SECOND MAN: Not if you're dead! I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you
to kill yourself.
BLAKE: I didn't kill myself. I just got here. I was never talking to
you and I didn't jump in front of a bus.
SECOND MAN: Yes you did. And your body is still over there. I still
see you in the street over there.
BLAKE: Let me go take a look.
BLAKE crosses over to where FIRST MAN ran off
Comes back
He looks startled
SECOND MAN: What is it?
BLAKE: That is me. I am dead. This is horrible. If I died and I'm
still here, do you know what that means?
SECOND MAN: Well, I'm sure it's not that you missed your bus,
because you certainly caught that.
BLAKE: No. This means that I have unfinished business. There is
something I need to do before I take that final journey to the other
side.
SECOND MAN: What unfinished business? What do you think you have to
do?
BLAKE: I don't know. I guess that's what I will need to find out.
SECOND MAN: Good point, but if that's the case, can you do me a
favor and make sure I'm not part of that unfinished business. I
really need to catch my bus.
Lights fade
SCENE 2
Lights come up inside the living room
BLAKE is pacing back and forth making ghost sounds
After a brief moment, CAROL and JOSH enter
BLAKE is startled at first then he becomes nervous
BLAKE: You're home.
CAROL: Yeah. I live here.
BLAKE: Right. I knew that.
CAROL: What are you doing home so early? Why aren't you at work?
BLAKE: I got off early today, but that's not important. I have some
bad news for the two of you.
JOSH: Oh no! You lost your job. Now I will have to start wearing
thrift store clothes. Or worse. Clothes from Kmart!
BLAKE: No, I didn't lose my jobwell not exactly.
CAROL: What do you mean, 'not exactly'?
BLAKE: I didn't lose my job, but I won't be working anymore.
CAROL: Now I understand. It's obvious.
BLAKE: (Thinks Carol knows he's dead) It is? Then it really is
true.
CAROL: Yes. The factory is using you as a crash test dummy.
BLAKE: No! It's not that.
CAROL: Will you just tell us what is going on.
BLAKE I think maybe we should all sit down.
JOSH: Oh no. This is about the vase in the hallway that got broken. I
didn't mean to.
BLAKE: No, it's not about the vase.
CAROL: (To Josh) What about the vase? How did it get broken?
JOSH: (Acting innocent) I don't know. Ask Dad. He's the one that
brought it up.
BLAKE: Will you forget about the vase. Let's just sit down.
All three sit
BLAKE barely even touches the chair and he stands right back up
He blurts out
BLAKE: I'm dead!!!
There is a long pause and a few glances back and forth with CAROL and
JOSH
CAROL: Where's the punch line?
BLAKE: There is no punch line. (Apologetic) I died this afternoon.
JOSH: Mom, if Dad is dead do I still have to be quiet when he's
'taking a nap' while you're doing the dishes after dinner?
CAROL: Josh, your father is not dead. Although he will be if he
doesn't stop talking nonsense like this.
JOSH: This is so cool. I have never seen a dead person before.
Shouldn't you be lying down though?
CAROL: He's not dead. Now stop it.
BLAKE: I am dead. I jumped in front of a bus then I saw myself lying
in the street. You know. One of those out of body experiences, but I
don't get to go back in my body. So I'm dead.
CAROL: The only part of you that is dead is your brain.
BLAKE: I know you don't believe me, but it's true.
CAROL: If you're dead how come you're here?
JOSH: Duh, Mom. He's a ghost.
CAROL: Will you be quiet.
BLAKE: He's right. I'm a ghostI think and I must have
unfinished business that's why I'm still here.
CAROL: How can you have unfinished business, when you never start
anything?
BLAKE: But it's true. I'm dead and I'm a ghost.
CAROL: If you're a ghost, how come you're not all spooky looking?
How come I can't see through you? Ghosts are supposed to be
transparent.
BLAKE: I don't know why. I guess I haven't completely crossed over
to the other side.
CAROL: Oh, you defiantly crossed over to the other side.
BLAKE: I know this is hard for you, but it's true.
CAROL: You have no idea.
BLAKE: I saw myself lying in the street under the bus. There was
another man there who saw the whole thing. He said I just jumped right
in front of the bus and then my ghost appeared next to him.
CAROL walks calmly up to BLAKE
Pauses for a moment then slaps him in the face
BLAKE yells
CAROL: You're no ghost.
BLAKE: What did you slap me for? That hurt.
CAROL: If you were a ghost you would not have felt that.
JOSH: Mom, can I shoot dad with my bow and arrow? If he's a real
ghost it will go right through him.
CAROL: Not now dear. You and your 'dead' father need to set the
table for dinner.
BLAKE: I know you don't believe me.
CAROL: Oh, I believe you. I believe you 'think' you're dead.
Soin the morning I will make funeral arrangements and in the
afternoon I will start dating that handsome new neighbor that moved in
down the street. I heard he's single.
BLAKE: I don't know what to do to convince you.
CAROL: You want to convince me? Maybe if you start acting like a real
ghost I might believe you, but until then you need to help your son
set the table for dinner. Come on Josh. Go get started. Your father is
probably going to move a bit slow, since he's dead.
CAROL and JOSH start to exit)
JOSH: I like having a ghost for a father. This is so cool.
CAROL: That's nice dear. Maybe you can take him to the school
science fair. They might have an extra brain in one of those pickle
jars. (Exit)
BLAKE: Maybe she's right. Maybe I need to start acting like a ghost.
Maybe I can't transition to the other side until I learn how to be a
ghost. (Gets an idea) I know just the thing. (Yells offstage) Josh!
Where's your DVD of "Beetlejuice"?
Lights Out
[end of extract]
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