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JESS skips in from stage right, holding a soft toy. She heads towards
the back-left chair and sits down.

LYDIA: Morning, cutie.

JESS: What's for breakfast? Ed's hungry. (she holds the soft toy
up)

LYDIA: Just cereal, dear. How are you this morning?

JESS: That's ok, Ed likes cereal.

LYDIA: Ah, that's good.

JESS: Wait a minute, where's Ed's place?

LYDIA: Ed's place?

JESS: There are only four places at the table, where's Ed supposed
to sit?

LYDIA: Oh, well, I didn't realise you were entertaining last night.
Can't he just share some of yours?

JESS: (looks at Lydia in disbelief) No, I'm a good host, and he's
going to get a place of his own.

LYDIA: Well, too bad sweetie, I've already laid four places.
Anyway, we don't have enough spoons for the five of us.

JESS: Awwwell can't he just take Dad's place? He's not up
yet.

LYDIA: No Jess, I'm sorry but you know what you Daddy's like.

JESS: Please, It'll only be for a little while. Ed's a fast
eater!

LYDIA: (sighs) O.K. but he's got to be really quick.

JESS: Yay!

She gets down and places the soft toy on the left-most chair, picks
up the cereal box, tips it awkwardly into the bowl, replaces it, takes
the milk and pours it onto the cereal. If possible she should prop the
spoon against the toy's hand / limb.

JESS: There you are Mr. Ed.

She returns to her chair, and fills her bowl in a similar manner. She
then begins eating.

Silence.

LYDIA: Sowhat does Ed do for a living?

JESS: Oh, he's a pilot.

JAMIE: A pilot, huh?

JESS: Yeah, he's got to eat up, 'cos he's going to be flying
around the world today.

LYDIA: Wow that is exciting!

JESS: Yeah, he can't get too excited though, or he'll be sick.

LYDIA: Oh dear, we better not let him get like that then!

JESS: Yeah, but don't worry, I calm him.

JAMIE: Uh-huh.

LYDIA: (to the toy) Where are you going to be flying from Ed?

Significant pause.

Lydia: I hear the weather's quite bad over Stansted if you're
going to be flying from there. I'd try departing from Gatwick
instead.

Significant pause.

LYDIA: How many passengers have you got today?

Significant pause.

LYDIA: (to Jess) He's not very talkative is he?

JESS: He gets shy around new people.

LYDIA: Oh, I see. Well, I hope we've made him feel at home anyway.

JESS: Yeah, I've sure you have, it's just the new faces.

LYDIA: Ah. You used to be like that when you were little, Jamie.

JAMIE: Uh-huh?

LYDIA: Mmm, we took you round to the neighbours' once and you
wouldn't make a peep. Even when we got back to the house; it was two
days before you were talking again.

JAMIE: (with feigned interest) Was it really?

LYDIA: It was indeed! We were scared at first actually, we thought
you might have become a deaf-mute.

JESS: What's a death-mute, Mummy?

LYDIA: It's when someone can't hear anything, or talk at all.

JESS: Oh, so like Ed?

LYDIA: Jess! Don't say that, it's rude. Ed's just a little shy
that's all. (addressing the toy) How are you enjoying the cereal,
Ed? Yes, it is good isn't itNo, I'm sorry, there's only
enough left for my husband and he'll be down in a little bitNow
Ed! That's a bit saucy isn't it? ...You shouldn't be saying
things like that at the breakfast tablemy children are hereWhy,
thank you! Oh, you are sweetSure, the bathroom's just down the
hall andoh don't worry, I'll show you myselfmake sure you
don't get lostthough I'm sure a strong man like you can take
care of himself.

LYDIA gets up, picks up the soft toy and swiftly exits stage right.

JESS: See, Ed is fine after he gets to know people.

Silence. They eat.

JAMIE: How are things with that girl Helen at school, Jess?

JESS: They're fine.

JAMIE: Are you sure, she's not messing you around is she?

JESS: No. Well, last week she pushed me over, and I fell on a stone
and my knee started bleeding so I had to see the school nurse and the
day after she was really mean and started calling me names about it.

JAMIE: Jess! You can't let anyone treat you like that! Have you
talked to any of your teachers?

JESS: Well, I think it's gonna be O.K. because she's not at
school at the moment because she's ill.

JAMIE: Ah, O.K. that's good then. Do you know how long she's
going to be away, because when she comes back, you've got to talk to
someone and make sure she doesn't hurt you like that anymore.

JESS: I don't knowI hope she doesn't come back soon. Sally
thinks she'll be gone for more than a few days though. She says
Helen's got something called luke-e-mia.

JAMIE: (awkwardly) Ohwell, I guess she won't be coming back for
quite a while. You'll be O.K.

JESS: Yay! I hope Mr. Forrest gets luke-e-mia as well so I don't
have to do science tomorrow.

JAMIE: Erm (he tapers out)

WILLIAM enters from stage-right wearing a suit. He is holding a
newspaper under his arm. He moves quickly and is in a permanent state
of haste.

WILLIAM: Morning Jamie, morning Jess.

JESS: / Morning Daddy.

JAMIE: / Alright Dad.

He sits down on the left-most chair, previously occupied by the soft
toy and glances at his watch. He places the newspaper next to his
bowl. He notices the full bowl of cereal in his place.

WILLIAM: What have we got here? No strawberries though.

He picks up the punnet of strawberries and places some on the top of
his cereal, with speed and precision. He picks up his spoon and begins
eating quickly.

JESS: Helen's got luke-e-mia, Dad.

WILLIAM: (distractedly) Mmmgoodeugh (he spits)fluff on my
spoon.

He spits again, then produces a handkerchief from his pocket and
wipes his mouth.

JAMIE: Good day ahead of you, Dad?

WILLIAM: Yeah alright, plenty of clients. Eighteen of them in total,
I believe. If I get to work at nine-thirty, that gives me time for six
clients at fifteen minutes each before the eleven o'clock break.
Then from eleven thirty onwards, I have time for four more sessions
before lunch at twelve thirty. I'll be finished with that at one
thirty, then eight clients taking approximately two hours, I should be
finished by three thirty.

JAMIE: Oh, in that case, would you be able to give me a lift home?

WILLIAM: As long as you're ready and waiting outside the gates at
three forty-five. I don't want to have to come in and park. I'll
end up wasting at least five minutes with those other stupid parents
trying to chat. Really, they don't have a clue what they're
doing.

JESS: Mummy always chats to Mrs. Greenhorn when she picks me up from
school.

WILLIAM: Yes, well, your mother isn't a psychiatrist is she?

JESS: Um, I don't think so.

WILLIAM: No, she's not. (to himself) She's ridiculous.

JESS: O.K.

JAMIE: Alright, that's no problem Dad, I finish at two so I've
got plenty of time to get outside the gates.

WILLIAM: You finish at two? Why you waiting around until three
forty-five? Get a bus for Christ's sake.

JAMIE: Well, I thought it would be nice if you drove me home.

WILLIAM: Well, It would also be nice if I could finish my breakfast
in peace without people wasting my time with idle chat!

Silence. WILLIAM eats.

JESS: I like Mrs. Greenhorn. She gave me some apple juice when I was
round Emily's house in the summer.

Silence.

JESS: She was wearing a blue skirt and said that we could go down to
the shops if we wanted to, but not for too long in case Mummy came
over to pick me up and I wasn't there.

Silence.

JESS: I got a Milky Way and a Bounty, and Emily just got some
Pick'n'Mix.

Silence.

JESS: They were yummy.

LYDIA enters from stage right with the soft toy. Her hair is
disorderly and her clothes are rumpled.

LYDIA: (to the soft toy) Look, I'm sorry Ed, but my husband's
going to be up any minute (she catches sight of William) Oh, hey
honey! (she throws the soft toy across the other side of the stage)

WILLIAM: / Morning.

JESS: / Ed! (she gets up from her chair and runs to pick up the soft
toy) Mummy, why did you throw him like that?

LYDIA: Oh, well he's a pilot, he can fly, right?

JESS: Not without a plane stupid.

WILLIAM: Hey, now come on Jessie, don't call your mother stupid.
(smirks) (to Lydia) But seriously Lydia, what are you throwing toys
across the room for at (he looks at his watch) eight forty-one in the
morning?

LYDIA: Oh, it's a game me and Jessie were playing earlier.

WILLIAM: She's not a dog, Lydia.

LYDIA: I know thatit's justa bit of fun. He's called Ed.

WILLIAM: Who?

LYDIA: Him (she points to the toy) and you're in his seat.

WILLIAM: I beg your pardon?

LYDIA: That seat, its Ed's.

WILLIAM: Well, I paid for this chair, so I think you'll find I can
decide who sits in it and it isn't going to be some goddamned toy!

JESS: He was sitting there Dad.

WILLIAM: And now I am.

LYDIA goes over to Jess and takes the soft toy from her.

LYDIA: Will, I know you paid for the chair, but can't you let him
sit there, just for this morning.

WILLIAM: Look, you're making me late for work as it is. (Gets up
for more cereal, at this point Lydia places the soft toy on his chair)
I don't have time to mess around with you and your silly games!
I've had enough of this Lydia, all the goddamn time! Go and take
your pills or something like a good girl.

He notices the soft toy and becomes angered. He rips it apart and
throws the pieces down on the floor. LYDIA gasps and JESS begins to
cry.

JESS: Ed!

LYDIA: Will, what have you done?

WILLIAM: No, what have you done Lydia? (he looks at his watch) Now
I'm latethanks! Come on Jamie.

JAMIE gets up, and they both walk off stage left. LYDIA and JESS move
towards the remains of the soft toy and collapse onto their knees.
Lydia begins to cry along with Jess.

LYDIA: He was going to fly todaywhat have you done? (screaming
towards stage left) What have you done!

[end of extract]

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