How a Queen's Democracy Works by Yun Ji Kim
Scene 1. Reception Room in the Blue House.
[Loud cries of protests echo from outside. Protesters are out in the
streets, demanding for the president to resign. They are fenced in by
the police. The president points to the couch for LADY CHAE and ELLA
to sit.]
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Do get yourselves seated, ladies.
LADY CHAE: Thank you, sister.
ELLA: Greetings, Your Majesty. It's lovely to meet you-
[Noise escalates, drowning ELLA's voice]
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (peering over the window sill) They had much better
start using water cannons.
ELLA: Water cannons? I suppose they don't kill?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Occasionally. But what else do you think has kept me
in office all these years?
ELLA: (admiringly) You are so smart. Where did you learn such
politics?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (proudly)My father, the President King.
LADY CHAE: May he rest in peace! My father, the Great Shaman, will be
with him in spirit.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: [with moist eyes] I do miss them. Now Ella, my dear,
what were you saying?
ELLA: Just that it is a lovely day, Your Majesty.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (looks at her fondly) Yes, isn't it? The plaza must
have looked very pretty, without such an unruly crowd.
LADY CHAE: Indeed. You must keep them off your lawns while I am away,
sister.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: My secretaries should figure something out. If it
continues to be such an annoyance, I will dispatch more forces. The
illegals can go to jail for protesting, and our streets will find
peace again.
ELLA: (brightly) I didn't know protests were illegal.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (Glares) Of course they are, if they are against me.
(Eyes soften) Or your mother, for one thing.
ELLA: (tilting her head, frowning in thought) I don't think illegal
is a noun, either, but of course, I can never be sure. I don't think
they teach such things in school.
LADY CHAE: You never finished school after elementary school, dear.
You wouldn't know.
ELLA: (defensively) I go to one of the most prestigious universities
in our country.
LADY CHAE: That, sweetheart, is because I changed their admissions
process specifically for you. Oh, stop talking back to your elders. It
is so very rude of you. You mustn't intercede when adults are
speaking.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Your mother is quite right. Sister, when are you
leaving again?
LADY CHAE: I will be leaving very early in the morning, the day after
tomorrow.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Mmhmm. I will, naturally, make sure that
[Shouts of "Step down! Resign!" "This is not a theocracy!"]
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (picks her ear with her pinkie, frowning) make
sure that none of the nosy prosecutors get there before you are safely
in Germany.
LADY CHAE: Thank you. It is so kind of you.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Nonsense. Your father was my prophet and savior, and
you have been my personal and professional advisor all these years.
This is the least I can do.
[More shouts of "The President must resign! Resign!" "Rasputin
out!"]
Oh, for god's sake. I've apologized. What more do they want?
ELLA: You said you're sorry?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: I regret to tell you I did. It is what one does to
avoid responsibility.
ELLA: (incredulously) You have responsibilities?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Well, as president queen, I do.
ELLA: (pointing to the window, where the protests are heard) So you
need to listen to them?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Nonsense. Don't you know the beauty of democracy?
ELLA: (Shifts in her seat) I definitely learned something about this.
There was that speech by, um, Washington? . . . of the people, for the
people, by the people?
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (purses lips distastefully) No, silly girl. George
Washington never said such a thing. The real beauty of democracy, you
see, is that the sovereign cannot be beheaded.
ELLA: Ah.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Marie Antoinette and her husband would have lived
much longer, had they been born in our time. Indeed, they would have
lived eating cake in the chambers of Versailles until they grew old
and ugly.
LADY CHAE: You are right, as always. Both your parents and mine must
be watching over you.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: (Nods) Indeed. (Looks at watch, which points to
three) Isn't it already so late! It's time for my nap.
LADY CHAE: We shall get going, then, sister.
PRESIDENT QUEEN: Just remember to be discreet. You know the secret
passage out. Try not to be seen today, I've no heart for more
apologies.
LADY CHAE: Of course. Come, Ella.
[LADY CHAE and ELLA exit]
Scene 2. CHARLOTTE's house.
[CHARLOTTE, SECRETARY REE, and MRS. REE are seated around the dinner
table. Charlotte is picking at her food dejectedly, with a concerned
look on her face.]
MRS. REE: (Leaning over to scrutinize Charlotte's face) My, my,
Charlotte. Your skin looks dreadful. Have you been to the
dermatologist this week?
CHARLOTTE: (sighs) Not yet, mother.
MRS. REE: Oh, dear. Haven't I told you, time and again-your
greatest duty is to beauty. The only other duty of similar importance
is ignorance. A woman who is not ignorant, and not beautiful, has
absolutely lost her chances of salvation.
CHARLOTTE: (glances up from her plate) But what salvation, mother?
MRS. REE: Of every nature. (crossly) And you really must stop
questioning your own mother. It is so very unbecoming.
SECRETARY REE: (Dabbing at the corner of his mouth with a napkin,
burps loudly) Listen to your mother, Charlotte. She got herself
married to me, and that's a great accomplishment for any woman.
MRS. REE: (Taking a sip of wine) And do try not to frown. Or smile,
for that matter. You don't want wrinkles before you're even
twenty. (shudders) That's the death of any young lady.
SECRETARY REE: (Slurping nosily) If you want to maintain your
privilege, Charlotte, try not to get wrinkles. If worse comes to
worst, of course, you can get some botox injections at the
dermatologist's.
CHARLOTTE: (looks at her father with defiantly) I don't want to be
like mother. Besides, I've been taught that privilege comes with
responsibility.
(SECRETARY REE and MRS. REE both gasps aloud)
MRS. REE: Don't want to be like me! What do-
SECRETARY REE: Be quiet, woman. (jabbing his fork at Charlotte) For
Christ's sake, CHARLOTTE. 'Privilege comes with responsibility?'
Who's been spouting such nonsense?
CHARLOTTE: Father, everybody knows that. They teach that in school.
MRS. REE: Oh, just sleep in class, Charlotte, that would be much
better for your skin than listening to a commoner blabber. We only
send you to school so that you won't be shamed for not having a
diploma.
SECRETARY REE: Haven't I always told you, nothing you learn in
school will ever be of use in real life? It's like algebra. Have you
ever found use for algebra in your life?
CHARLOTTE: (Sits quietly, unable to answer)
SECRETARY REE: (In a satisfied tone) Precisely. Privilege, sweetheart,
comes with money. And silence, in such times of crises.
CHARLOTTE: (Picks at her food, with her face turning red)
Doctor Ree: There is a reason that awful phrase-what was it?
Noblesse oblige-died out after the Enlightenment. It is vital that
we keep our dignity and keep silent.
CHARLOTTE: (in a quiet, exasperated voice) Father, my friends are out
in the streets protesting.
SECRETARY REE: That's why they'll end up in the streets. The
president queen will be rounding them up, especially the more raucous
ones, you mark my words. You, my dear, will continue to live in a
mansion like this (gesturing around) by keeping your head down.
CHARLOTTE: [turning pale] She can't just round them up. All power
comes from the people-it says so on the Constitution.
SECRETARY REE: (scowls) Have you been reading such a dangerous
document? (to himself) What do they teach in schools nowadays? I
always knew school was good for nothing.
Darling, constitutions are for peasants, not the privileged.
CHARLOTTE: Father, we live in a democratic republic. There is no such
thing as peasants.
SECRETARY REE: But you, Charlotte, is one of the privileged. In our
day and time, moral uprightness is the gravest of sins.
CHARLOTTE: (stares at him, appalled.)
SECRETARY REE: The weight of a crime is measured by the weight of the
punishment, haven't you learned that in school? As such, being
conscientious is always a dangerous thing. We gave you wealth and a
reputation to maintain-all you need to do is remain quiet.
CHARLOTTE: (puts down her fork, and leaves, tears welling in her
eyes.)
SECRETARY REE: (takes Charlotte's plate and starts eating her
portion too) Girl's got all the wrong ideas. What have you been
doing, while all these ridiculous ideas got to her head?
MRS. REE: I've tried! I've been saying from the start, we never
should have sent her to a good school. It's always a bad idea to get
a girl too much education.
SECRETARY REE: (half-heartedly) She needs to have a diploma from an
elite school. These days being pretty isn't enough to marry up.
MRS. REE: (turns scarlet) We can do what Lady Chae did, and bribe the
professors. Change a couple rules.
SECRETARY REE: It would be too much work, we haven't got her ties
with the President Queen
MRS. REE: (crossly)You're her secretary!
SECRETARY REE: (Waves his fork carelessly) Maybe after I get promoted.
We'll see. I've been pulling a few strings around, she just might
. . . We can only hope these lectures don't brainwash her any
further in the meanwhile.
MRS. REE: (watches her husband eat, and lowers her eyes)
[end of extract]