Great Scott! The Manor House Mystery by W Terremce Gordon
ACT ONE, Scene 1
HISTORY AND MYSTERY, WARTS AND ALL
GERALDINE: (Looking up from her papers.) My mind is made up. Enough
of study. I have made so many reading notes about Prince Edward
Overlapping dialogue.
JENN: (With mock formality in her voice.) Prince Edward! The Duke of
Kent. (Making a dramatic curtsey.) How d-oo-oo you do, Duke? (Singing)
Your rotunda was a wonda
GERALDINE: (With a withering glare) Jenn!
JENN: Well, the rotunda was a music room.
GERALDINE: I'm going to gather up all I know about Edward and his
Julie and write their full story.
KATE: Full, heart-breaking story of the noble Julie, after years at
his side, banished, so that he could marry royalty and father Queen
Victoria.
GERALDINE: The story is love, but the lesson is duty.
JENN: Love or duty, just be sure that you tell their true story.
GERALDINE: What do you mean, "their true story?"
JENN: From what I have read myself, it seems that there is as much
mystery as history in their story.
KATE: Really?
JENN: And the biggest mystery may be why the prince's lady came to
be known as Madame Julie de St. Laurent. It seems, in reality, she
was a certain ThereseI forget the rest long name.
GERALDINE: What are you saying!?! You must be mistaken.
(Reflectively.) But if this is true, I must know before I can begin
writing their story.
JENN: (Shrugs philosophically.) What's in their story? What's in
her story? What's in his story? What's in history? What's in a name?
GERALDINE: In a high ancestral name, as the song goes.
KATE: (Singing) In a high ancestral name
JENN: Time has tricked us into believing that Julie was Julie.
KATE: But Edward was Edward. A prince. To find such a manTheir
story is the purest, highest romance!
JENN: (Drily.) It has all the makings of a melodrama, and not so high
or so pure, for that matter.
GERALDINE: It is history our history. The past is our wise guide.
JENN: If we cherish the past more than we embrace the present, we can
let it control us. Nothing wise about that. Every fantastic adventure tale starts
out as history, with swashbucklers rooted in flesh and blood, warts and all.
KATE: Jenn, I don't think the Duke of Kent could have been a
swashbuckler. Did you saywarts?
JENN: (Shooting KATE a glance) Maybe it's the lady who was the
swashbuckler.
KATE: There is no such thing as a female swashbuckler. And if there
was, she would not have warts!
JENN: My point is that Prince Edward and Madame Therese belong to
history, but not to ours. We are the Ternans.
KATE: We are the Ternans. And not a swashbuckler among us, I am sure.
GERALDINE: (Reflectively) The Ternans from the Old Sod.
JENN: (Singing) I'll settle down forever (1)
KATE: (Singing) I'll leave the Old Sod never (2)
JENN/KATE: (Singing) Sure no letter I'll be mailing (3)
(Singing) For soon I will be sailing (4)
JENN goes to start the gramophone as KATE keeps singing.
KATE: And I'll bless the ship that takes me (5)
To my dear old Erin's shore. (6)
JENN starts the gramophone.
MARGARET enters with an anxious look.
GERALDINE goes to her
They speak for a moment
GERALDINE exits quickly
MARGARET looks at JENN and KATE, who have not noticed her yet
Gramophone plays:
Where the dear old Shannon's flowing (7)
Where the three-leaved shamrock grows (8)
Where my heart is, I am going (9)
To my little Irish Rose (10)
JENN and KATE join in as the gramophone continues:
And the moment that I meet her (11)
With a hug and kiss, I'll greet her (12)
JENN notices GERALDINE'S absence and MARGARET'S anxious look.
She stops the gramophone.
JENN: Where has Geraldine gone, Margaret?
MARGARET: I am so sorry, I ope it's nothing, and if it's nothing I
will be doubly sorry, but ya know it's not de first time and peraps
it's just shadows
JENN: (Sharply) Margaret, that makes four "it's," now what is "it's?"
MARGARET: I think it'sit's the ghost hagain.
KATE: (To JENN) You said warts and all; maybe it's ghosts and all. A
swashbuckling ghost? How do you buckle a swash anyway?
JENN, KATE and MARGARET exit.
The gramophone is stuck and plays:
Where the fairies and the blarney (13)
Where the fairies and the blarney (14)
Where the fairies and the blarney (15)
Where the fairies (16)
Enter KATE, running. She goes to the gramophone to turn it off, but
it stops before she reaches it. She gives the machine a look of
surprise and then starts to exit.
The gramophone plays: and the blarney
KATE stops and the gramophone stops again.
KATE starts to exit.
The gramophone plays:
With a hug and kiss, I'll greet her
KATE stops and the gramophone stops again.
KATE starts to exit.
The gramophone plays: For there's not a colleen sweeter
KATE stops and the gramophone stops again. KATE strikes a colleen's
coquettish pose then exits.
The gramophone plays:
Where the River Sackville flows.
END OF SCENE
Act ONE, Scene 2
MARGARET: De ghost was de same has last time, I am sure of it. She ad
just de same look habout er, an' dis time I knew oo it was.
GERALDINE: Who then?
MARGARET: Oo? Miss Hellen, dat's oo.
JENN: Oo the ell is Miss Hellexcuse me, who thewho on earth is
Miss Hellen?
MARGARET: Why Miss Hellen Ternan, of course.
GERALDINE: How do you spell that?
MARGARET: A T, a he, a har
GERALDINE: No, no, Hellen.
MARGARET: A he, two hells, a he, and a hen.
KATE: Ellen.
MARGARET: Dat's what I just said an what I spelled hout for you.
KATE: Ellen Ternan.
MARGARET: Aye, de hacktress.
KATE: Our cousin of dubious repute.
GERALDINE: Margaret, it can't be the ghost of Ellen Ternan, she is
alive and well and living in London, England.
MARGARET: O, beggin' your pardon, Miss Geraldine, ow can it be? Mr.
Dickens, oo was er man, hand some say de father of er child, dough dere was
no oly wedlock, as been gone dese forty years hand more, before I come hout
ta Canader.
JENN: Charles Dickens was forty-five and Ellen Ternan was eighteen
when they met. Geraldine is right. Ellen is alive and well and living in England
to this day.
MARGARET: Forty-five, ee was forty-five?
JENN: Yes.
MARGARET: Hand she heighteen?
KATE: Yes. What is sometimes called a May-December romance.
MARGARET: Aye, hit's more like da middle hages meets modern times.
Maybe ee's de ghost still wantin' ta chase er habout.
JENN: Well he would not be chasing her here in Nova Scotia when she is
in England.
KATE: What makes you think it was Ellen Ternan, Margaret?
MARGARET: Well I was never to de tee-ate-er, when I was back ome, but
I seen posters wit pictures of er an ow she looked on de sty-ge.
GERALDINE: There is always an explanation for what we call ghosts.
MARGARET: Beggin' your pardon, and I promised meself I would not
say nutin habout it, but since de first time I seen Miss Hellen all right not Miss
Hellen dare as bin tumpin' haround in de hattic over me ed most naites an' last
naite so bad I was not ta sleep till near mornin.
Light thumping sound from backstage left.
MARGARET: Oh, me God ! Dat's it and eer we are not in naite time at
all but de middle of de day.
GERALDINE: Calmly, Margaret, calmly.
Heavier thumping sound from backstage right.
GERALDINE, JENN, KATE and MARGARET all turn toward backstage right.
MARGARET: Oh, me God, I'm goin' ta be avin' me edakes now naite an' day.
GERALDINE: Let's go and find out what this is all about. There will be some
logical explanation.
MARGARET: Logical tumpin' ?
Thumping is now louder and coming from directly overhead.
GERALDINE, JENN, KATE and MARGARET all look up.
MARGARET: I don't tink we need ta go lookin. Ee or she or hit or
dem or what is habout ta come down de stairs an' give us all an ow
de ya do!
GERALDINE and KATE exit stage right
JENN exits stage left
MARGARET begins to follow
JENN then decides to follow GERALDINE and KATE.
MARGARET: Dere's strengt in numbers.
The gramophone plays
DERBFORGAILL looks in from the exit at stage right then withdraws.
SCOTT looks in from the exit at stage left then withdraws.
GERALDINE and KATE enter stage left; JENN enters stage right.
GERALDINE: Where is Margaret?
JENN: I thought she was with you.
KATE: We thought she was with you.
GERALDINE: Well she can't be far away.
GERALDINE goes to stage left entrance and calls MARGARET'S name.
KATE and JENN watch her without noticing that SCOTT peeks in from
stage right for just a moment and then withdraws
GERALDINE pauses briefly and then calls Margaret's name again.
MARGARET: (from backstage) AAAHHHWWW!!
GERALDINE rushes out, stage left, followed by KATE and JENN
JENN reenters a moment later and opens the door at stage right to find
MARGARET standing there frozen and with a terrified look on her face.
JENN: Margaret, you look as if you have seen a ghost.
Enter KATE.
MARGARET: I
KATE: Margaret, you look as if you have seen a ghost.
Enter GERALDINE.
MARGARET: I av.
GERALDINE: You have what, Margaret?
MARGARET: I av seen a ghost as sure as I am seein you Miss Geraldine.
KATE: A female ghost, then?
MARGARET: Now.
GERALDINE: Good, then we have eliminated Ellen Ternan, again. And we
can eliminate our brother Terence, first because he is not at home, and secondly
because he too is alive, so we have only to determine who the gentleman, also very
much alive, I am sure, who that gentleman you saw actually was.
MARGARET: A gentleman ta be sure, by is finery, dough ee did not tip
is gigantic at to me, but den I suppose ye cannot expect dat a ghost will be tippin
is at if is pri-mar-y purpose in be-in eer is ta scare de daylights out of ya.
JENN: A gigantic hat you say?
MARGARET: Aye, an a uniform much like de one in de portrait of your
father, the late Dr. Ternan, God rest his soul, where ee's wearin' is full Royal Navy
KATE: Oh, Margaret, surely you are not suggesting that Father
MARGARET: No, no, no, nutin of de sort, Miss Kate, and I would not
be frightened by Dr. Ternan, would I? Alive or dead.
JENN: Where is your logical explanation now, Geraldine? (GERALDINE
makes no reply and JENN turns to MARGARET again.) Now that you have
had time to get settled, Margaret, think again who might it have been?
MARGARET makes no reply. She looks at her hands and feet.
GERALDINE: You are strangely silent, Margaret.
MARGARET: (Looking up and speaking slowly at first.) Well, dat is
because I now you are not goin to lie-k me sayin what I ave ta say
JENN: Say what you want to say, Margaret.
MARGARET: If it wasn't for de at and de uniformI'd say it was Mr. Charles Dickens.