For Better For Worse by Hedva Anbar
SCENE I
Out of doors in Westwater, a small UK town, in bright sunshine at
about two pm on Thursday 7th June 2013.
SHEENA enters. She is taking a walk during her lunch break. She is
holding her phone as though about to call a number. She hesitates,
starts to key in a number, changes her mind, then changes it again and
makes the call.
SHEENA: (into phone:) Good afternoon. I want to cancel an appointment.
(Pause.) Weedon. Sheena Weedon. (Pause.) Date of birth? Eighth of
January 1983. (Pause.)
Yes, that's me. (Pause.) Tomorrow week. Friday the fifteenth. (Pause.)
That's right. (Pause.) No, not just now. Thank you. Goodbye. (She ends
the call.)
SHEENA, obviously relieved, relaxes for a few beats then psyches
herself up to make another call. She takes a leaflet from her bag,
keys in a number from the leaflet and reaches an automated response
system.
She presses a button and says to herself “One”.
She presses another button and says to herself “Three”.
SHEENA: (into phone:) Yes. (Pause.) That's right. (Pause.) Friday the
eighth? Nine forty tomorrow morning? That's quick. I didn't expect ...
(Pause.) No, it's fine. (Pause.) Weedon. That's whiskey echo echo
delta oscar november. (Pause.) Sheena. Sierra hotel echo echo november
-
SHEENA exits still speaking on the phone.
SCENE II
Evening of the same day in Sheena and Heath's contemporary living
room. The room has two doors, one leading to the entrance hall and one
to the kitchen.
SHEENA and MAME are standing looking at the vase of irises (or other
summer flowers) brought by MAME.
SHEENA: They're beautiful.
MAME: They'll last at least a week. As long as you remember to trim
the stems. And you change the water every day. Now. What can I do to
help?
SHEENA: Nothing thank you. Everything's done.
HEATH ushers DAN in.
DAN: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry but ... do you mind
dreadfully if I put supper off for another day?
DAN's phone rings.
DAN: Excuse me. (Pause.) (He answers the call.) (Into phone:) Rita.
(Pause.) Where did I leave them? (Pause.) Not now. I'll pick them up
tomorrow. (Pause.) Have they any evidence? (Pause.) As long as we're
not involved. (Pause.) Yes. See you in the morning. (He ends the
call.) Sorry about that. I'm afraid I have / to ask ...
SHEENA: Yes dad. We do mind dreadfully if you put supper off for
another day. It's the first chance we've had this year to eat in the
garden. Who knows when we'll have another lovely evening like this.
DAN: I've a mountain of documents to go through by the morning. I'm
in the hot seat at the Schools Forum meeting and I need all the facts
at my fingertips. You don't want me to make a fool of myself, do you?
SHEENA: Work. Work. Work. That's all you ever think about.
HEATH: We had a reason for inviting you. For inviting you together.
MAME: To tell us that Sheena's pregnant.
HEATH: How do you know?
MAME: There are signs. If you can recognise them.
DAN (to SHEENA:) Are you?
SHEENA: Yes.
MAME: I'm so so happy for you. (She hugs SHEENA.) I can't wait to be
a grandma. (She hugs HEATH.) My little boy is going to be a papa! I
wish Cindy would follow your example.
HEATH: My big sister thinks it's her duty to save the world from
overpopulation and overconsumption by not having children.
MAME (to DAN:) Your little girl's going to be a maman. You're going to
be a grandpère.
DAN is not enthusiastic.
MAME: Men!
HEATH: Calm down, Mum. It's early days. We haven't even been for our
first antenatal appointment.
MAME's phone signals a text message. MAME looks at the sender's name
and reads the message discreetly.
DAN: You're going to the Jackson Medical Centre?
HEATH: That's right. Tomorrow week.
SHEENA:No Heath. Didn't I tell you? There's been a cancellation and I
got a slot tomorrow morning.
HEATH: No, you didn't tell me.
SHEENA:I'm sorry. I thought I had.
MAME: It's common for women to become absentminded when they're
pregnant, especially when the baby's a girl. It's called momnesia.
HEATH:Bloody brilliant. I've a meeting with someone from the BBC in
the morning.
MAME: The BBC?
HEATH:They're thinking of making a programme about the museum.
SHEENA: I can go on my own. I don't mind.
MAME: I can probably go with you.
SHEENA: It's all right. I'll be fine on my / own.
MAME: I'll ask Ann-Marie if she can get in early and open up.
SHEENA: There's no need. Honestly. I'll be fine on my own. (She
changes the subject.) Dad. What's new at the council?
DAN's phone rings.
DAN: Excuse me. (He answers the call.) (Into phone:) George. (Pause.)
Yes, I'll make a note of it. (Pause.) Yes, Rita told me. (Pause.) See
you. (He ends the call.) Sorry about that. And forgive me but I really
have to leave you.
SHEENA: More drama at the council?
DAN: George and Rita have got it into their heads that we're about to
be hit by a mega scandal. There's a rumour that Babs Warner - she's
chair of the Planning Committee -
MAME: And a faithful customer of Happy Flowers.
DAN: There's a rumour that she pocketed massive backhanders from an
offshore development consortium.
SHEENA: The one that won the regeneration project?
MAME: You shouldn't take any notice of that sort of tittle-tattle.
Ninety nine times out of a hundred it's pure mischief.
DAN: I hope you're right. People who serve the public should be
motivated by what they can give not what they can get.
SHEENA: You can't expect everyone to live up to your high standards.
DAN's phone rings.
DAN (looks to see who is calling and chooses not to answer.) Not
again. He's driving me mad.
SHEENA: Who?
DAN: An individual by the name of Graham Clarke. Some sort of
management consultant I think. Anyway he waylaid me a couple of days
ago - I'd seen him around but never spoken to him - and said he'd been
chinwagging with some mates and they want to nominate me as a
candidate in the parliamentary by-election. I told him it wasn't on
but he won't take no for an answer.
SHEENA: Why are they so keen?
DAN: Probably part of some devious plot to derail one of the other
candidates.
MAME: Don't be so cynical. It's obvious. They think you're the best
person to represent the constituency.
HEATH: When's the by-election?
DAN: I don't know. I wrote it down somewhere. (He leafs through a
small notebook.) Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
SHEENA: What?
DAN: It completely slipped my mind.
HEATH: What?
DAN: My MOT expired yesterday. And I've been driving around all day.
Is it all right if I leave my car here and get someone from the garage
to pick it up in the morning and do whatever has to be done?
SHEENA: Of course.
DAN (prepares to make a call.) I'll get a taxi.
HEATH: I'll take you.
DAN I don't want to put you out.
HEATH: It's no problem.
DAN: Thank you.
SHEENA: When's the by-election?
DAN (leafs through his notebook.) July the eleventh. But nominations
have to be in by four o'clock on June the tenth. That's - when is it?
This Monday. So it's out of the question. I've far too much on my
plate.
MAME: What's the procedure for getting the nomination in?
DAN: Graham Clarke has a list of the voters who've offered to nominate
me. I'd have to get all their signatures and complete a wad of forms
and deliver them ...
MAME: That doesn't sound too onerous. If you let me, I bet I can
complete the job by four o'clock on Monday without taking up too much
of your time.
DAN: I'd have to find an election agent too.
MAME: I can probably help with that as well.
DAN (to MAME:) You're amazing. (To HEATH:) Your mother's amazing. (To
MAME:) It's very kind of you to offer but there's really no point.
We're five weeks from polling day and there's no way I can draw up a
manifesto, rent an office, devise a campaign strategy, raise funds,
get hold of the election paraphernalia I'd need - leaflets, posters,
badges et cetera et cetera - and muster a band of volunteers by then.
SHEENA: It sounds like a major project.
DAN: You can say that again.
MAME: I'm sure you can do it. If we all help. We'll all help, won't
we?
SHEENA: The question is: do you want to be a Member of Parliament?
DAN: I'm not sure. The possibility never crossed my mind till Graham
Clarke brought it up.
SHEENA: You've often talked about the changes you'd like to see in the
way schools are run in this country.
DAN: You're right. I might consider standing for Parliament one day.
But not just now.
SHEENA: Why put it off? At your age ...
DAN: There's a general election in two years time. By then I'll have
completed a full term at the council and I might consider it. Not that
I'd have any chance of getting in. It's almost unheard of for an
independent to get in.
HEATH: I don't know. What about Horatio Bottomley? Oswald Moseley?
SHEENA: If you might consider standing in two thousand and fifteen, a
practice run at the by-election will give you useful experience.
MAME: You mustn't think of it as a practice run. You can win.
Providing you have the voters' confidence. Everything else is
by-the-way. And you will have their confidence. Lots of them know you
- they were your pupils at Notre Dame or their children were, or they
know you from All Saints, or from your surgeries and walkabouts. And
they know you were born in the district and you've lived here all your
life and you understand local issues and what local people care about,
unlike the candidates put up by the main parties. You'll get in and
what's more, you'll be the best MP this constituency's ever had.
SHEENA: I agree.
HEATH: So do I.
MAME: You're overruled!
DAN: I'll think about it. But my immediate concern at this moment is
the Schools Forum meeting. (He prepares to leave.)
HEATH prepares to leave with DAN.
MAME (to HEATH:) I'll take him. (To DAN:) We can discuss the
nomination on the way.
DAN: Right. (To SHEENA:) Bye precious. (To HEATH:) Bye.
MAME: I'll come straight back when I've dropped Dan.
DAN and MAME exit to the entrance hall.
SHEENA: I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you I changed the appointment.
Do you forgive me?
HEATH: Don't be silly. There's nothing to forgive.
SHEENA: Thank you for being so understanding. You're my very favourite
husband.
HEATH: (embarks on a game they have played before.) Guess what I'd
like to do.
SHEENA: I can think of quite a few things.
HEATH: Well?
SHEENA: Open air jazz tomorrow evening at the bandstand by the lake.
HEATH: Good idea. But not what I had in mind.
SHEENA: A trip to Bakewell on Sunday?
HEATH: Yes but not what I was thinking of. Third time lucky?
SHEENA: Give up.
HEATH: What I'd like is. Next month it's our wedding anniversary. I'd
like us to renew our vows.
[End of Extract]