Dogstar by Greg Freeman
An 'Old West' saloon bar - not in these parts, nor in these times
DOGSTAR - a man in a cowboy hat and wearing a long black coat - sits at
the bar sipping a drink from a glass
The back of the coat is peppered by visible bullet holes.
JED, who wears a name badge, which reads "Porter", urgently enters
through the double doors and looks over at DOGSTAR
CLAY, a prosperous man, stands outside the doors.
CLAY: JedJed.
JED: What?
CLAY: You forgetting something?
JED goes back outside. CLAY enters first, followed by Jed.
CLAY: You probably think I am being difficult. But protocol demands I
go first. I am the first to eat. The first to drink. The first to enter a building.
The First Citizen goes first. Tradition Jed. What is our tradition Jed?
JED says nothing
CLAY: Cat got your tongue?
JED: No, I was waiting for you to answer first.
CLAY: (narrows his eyes) Don't try and be smart Jed, you ain't no
good at it. Is that him?
JED: That's him. Says he's got no money.
CLAY: What's his business?
JED: Says he's just passing through.
CLAY: A drifter.
JED: That's what I reckon.
CLAY: Drifter's are a curse Got no purpose other than to
freeload and spread disease. Don't like the look of him.
JED: Didn't think you would.
CLAY: Did you tell him we are not a charity?
JED: I did. Told him he had to pay.
CLAY: You told him.
JED: I told him. And he just shrugged his shoulders.
CLAY: Shrugged his shoulders? That is disrespectful. That is saying I
got no money, what are you going to do about it?
JED: Or he ain't got no answer.
CLAY: Don't try interpreting gestures Jed, you ain't no good at
it. Shrugging of the shoulders is disrespectful.
JED: If you say so.
CLAY: I do say so, I just said it. Now I will talk to him and should
he refuse to be co-operative(with meaning) you get him to step
outside.
JED: If that's what you want.
CLAY: That is what I want. What do I want Jed?
JED: You want him to step outside.
CLAY: Why do I always feel you are arguing with me, even when you are
agreeing with me? (calls) You Sir.
DOGSTAR ignores him
CLAY: You! I'm talking to you.
DOGSTAR: Talking to me?
CLAY: Yes, I am talking to you. Pay for your drink.
DOGSTAR: Drinking water
CLAY: So?
DOGSTAR: Water is free.
CLAY: Not in this town. So kindly pay your bill.
DOGSTAR: Got no money.
CLAY: Then why did you order a drink?
DOGSTAR: I was thirsty.
CLAY: So pay for it
DOGSTAR: Did you make it?
CLAY: Did I make what?
DOGSTAR: The water. Did you make it?
CLAY: No. I did not make the water. But I drilled the hole, I pumped
it out of the ground, I filtered it, boiled itI put it in a jug and
I sell it in my bar to
cover my expenses.
DOGSTAR: So you didn't make it.
CLAY: You got a name. (pause) Have you got a name?
DOGSTAR: Dogstar
CLAY: Dogstar. Is that hyphenated?
DOGSTAR reaches inside his coat alarming CLAY and JED. DOGSTAR appears
to look at something inside his coat. Then..
DOGSTAR: No.
CLAY: You're a stranger in these parts
DOGSTAR: I'm a stranger in most parts.
CLAY: Where you from?
DOGSTAR: The last place I've been.
CLAY: Where's that?
DOGSTAR: Don't matter where I've been or where I'm heading.
I'm here and when I ain't here. I'll be over here.
DOGSTAR takes his glass and moves away to a table.
CLAY: What's he got under his coat?
JED: It could be a purse.
CLAY: You really think so?
JED: No. You see his coat?
CLAY: Bullet holes.
JED: In the back.
CLAY: They'll be a few more if he don't pay.
CLAY moves across to DOGSTAR
CLAY: Do you know who I am?
DOGSTAR shrugs his shoulders.
CLAY: I own this saloon. I own the town. Step outside and look left
and right, up and down. Look as far as you can see and further and
I own it. I own it all. Own..it..all.
DOGSTAR: Everything.
CLAY: Everything.
DOGSTAR: All the land.
CLAY: The land, the buildings, the people, the horses, the roads, the
bridges, the desert, the water
DOGSTAR: Do you own the justice system?
Pause
CLAY: This is a peaceful town. We don't want drifters, drifting in
and causing trouble.
DOGSTAR: No.
CLAY: No we don't.
DOGSTAR: Trouble begets trouble.
CLAY: Pay for the water and move on.
DOGSTAR: Water was put on this land, so all the world's creatures,
the big, the small, the good, the bad, (looks at CLAY) the
greedycould drink for free.
CLAY: Free? Free? What planet are you on?
DOGSTAR: Beginning to think the wrong one.
CLAY: I have overheads. I have costs, pumping equipment, labor,
(points at JED) you think he works for free. You want free water? Go
out and get it out of the ground yourself.
DOGSTAR: Got a shovel I could borrow?
CLAY: No.
DOGSTAR: Do you bury your dead?
CLAY: Yes.
DOGSTAR: Then you got a shovel.
CLAY: Don't be difficult. We do not like drifters who are difficult
in this town.
DOGSTAR: Ever buried seven men?
CLAY: Never
DOGSTAR: Have to dig a deep hole. I'll find water if you lend me a
shovel.
CLAY: Any water you find in the ground will still belong to me.
DOGSTAR: Does it rain? (pause) Does it rain here?
CLAY: God may send rain down, but when it hits my landit's
mine.
DOGSTAR: Your land or God's land?
CLAY: Do you know who you are talking to?
DOGSTAR: Well I know, you ain't God.
CLAY: You think I'm not God. Well maybe I'm not. But I tell you
what Sir, if
I decide I don't like someone, they usually live to regret it.
DOGSTAR: I believe you.
CLAY: Believe me.
DOGSTAR: I believe you.
CLAY: Believe me.
DOGSTAR: I do.
CLAY: You better. (squeezes finger and thumb together) Because I am
this close to not liking you.
DOGSTAR: Do you own the light from the sun?
CLAY: Oh. I see where this is going. (turns on JED) You told him we
charge for opening the shutters.
JED: There is a charge.
CLAY: There is a 'nominal' charge, to cover the cost of the
glass, should the shutters be open when a fight breaks out.
CLAY and JED are alarmed as DOGSTAR brings his hand out from inside
his coat. He is holding a large stone.
CLAY: There is no need to threaten me with a stone.
DOGSTAR: I want to pay for my water.
CLAY: With a stone?
DOGSTAR: Yup.
CLAY: Mister, you've been out in the sun too long. In these parts
you pay with money.
DOGSTAR: Stone's got a value
CLAY: A stone is a stone.
DOGSTAR: Water is water.
CLAY: A stone is useless to me.
JED: You can kill a man with a stone.
JED slams his hand on the bar.
CLAY: Did I ask for your opinion?
JED: No
CLAY: You ain't no good with opinions Jed. What's your opinion
Jed?
JED: I got no opinion
CLAY: Good. Did you bring him here to raise my ire? Because he has
raised my ire. (to DOGSTAR) Sir, you have raised my ire.
DOGSTAR: You want my coat?
CLAY: It's damaged.
DOGSTAR: Coat's a coat. Still keeps the chill off at night.
CLAY: No one wants a coat with bullet holes.
DOGSTAR: Take the stone.
CLAY: I got holes in the road that need filling. Do one hour's work
and we will consider your debt settled.
DOGSTAR: If I shovel in the hot sun, I'll be thirsty again.
CLAY: Then you'll have to do another hour's work. And then
another.
DOGSTAR: Work to drink. Drink to work.
JED: (mutters) We all got lives like that.
CLAY: You think I got an easy life Jed?
JED: I got no opinion
CLAY: You think I got an easy life? Why some days I can't even go
to the latrine without someone like you banging on the door wanting my
attention, with some problem or another. I got problems all over
town. I got problems
up at Jackson's Creek. Do not tell me I have an easy life.
JED: If you say so.
CLAY: I do. I do say so.
JED: So you do.
CLAY: I do. So don't argue. (to DOGSTAR) And you Sir, I'll get
you a shovel.
DOGSTAR: Don't want any shovel. Should be able to collect a heap of
earth yet be sharp enough to slice off a man's ear.
CLAY: I got one just like that. Give me a couple of minutesand then
step outside.
(looks meaningfully at JED) Two minutes.
JED unseen by DOGSTAR, acknowledges with a nod.
CLAY: (to DOGSTAR) We'll be waiting for you.
CLAY exits. Lights fade.
SCENE 2
Ten minutes later. DOGSTAR stands by the double doors squinting. JED
looks anxiously at his watch
JED: It's been ten minutes.
DOGSTAR: Yup.
JED: Ten minutes.
DOGSTAR: You the timekeeper or the barkeeper.
JED: I only say that in case you are in a hurry to get the shovel.
DOGSTAR moves slowly away from the doors and sits at the bar.
DOGSTAR: No rush.
DOGSTAR helps himself to a pretzel.
JED: None of my business, but
DOGSTAR: What?
JED: Well if I were you.. Iwouldn't eat those.
DOGSTAR: Add it to my bill.
JED: They're free, but salty. Makes you drink more water.
JED pours him some more water.
JED: But I'll add this to your bill. You a farmer?
DOGSTAR: No.
JED: Prospector?
DOGSTAR: No.
JED: You got any business in town?
DOGSTAR: Lost my shovel
JED: You come looking for a new shovel?
DOGSTAR: Yup.
JED: So it's lucky you got one waiting for you outside.
DOGSTAR: Yup.
JED: Yup.
DOGSTAR: Step outside and get it for me.
JED: What?
DOGSTAR: Step outside and bring me the shovel.
There is panic in JED's eyes.
JED: I'm not sure I can do that.
DOGSTAR: You got a bad leg?
JED: No. But.
DOGSTAR: But what?
JED: But, well.it would not be prudent for me to step outside
DOGSTAR: Prudent?
JED: No Sir, it would not be prudent. It would not be wise.
DOGSTAR: Why?
JED: Why?
DOGSTAR: Why?
JED: Well it would not be prudent toleave you inside with a till
full of money. You being a desperate man.
DOGSTAR: You think I'm desperate?
JED: You got no money, so you may rob the till.
DOGSTAR: Got no intention of robbing your till.
JED: I only have your word for that.
DOGSTAR: You don't value my word?
JED: You are a strangerand a stranger's word has no value.
DOGSTAR: Is that so?
JED: I am sure you are an honest stranger, but even the righteous get
tempted.
DOGSTAR: By what?
JED: A till full of money.
DOGSTAR: I only have your word it's full.
JED: True.
DOGSTAR: That could be an empty till.
JED: Could be.
DOGSTAR: You stepped out earlier to get the First Citizen. Could've
already cleaned it out.
JED opens the till. It still has cash.
DOGSTAR: But I didn't. So go get my shovel.
JED goes to step outside but then can't bring himself to do it.
JED: I would like to oblige but I am not paid to fetch and carry
tools. I am not a porter.
DOGSTAR: Badge says you are.
JED: That's my name, not my status. Your name is Dogstar. That
doesn't mean you're from the skies.
pause
DOGSTAR: Just get the shovel.
JED goes to leave but hesitates.
JED: In this town we value our selves and our time. I cannot fetch
and carry for free. I would have to charge.
DOGSTAR: Tell me, is there a charge for taking a leak?
JED: There is. So should you feel inclined, I will add it to your bill.
DOGSTAR: Should I feel inclinedyou'll be paddling in it.
JED: I admire your candor Sir.
DOGSTAR: Don't seem right. No creature should pay for water inor
water out.
JED: I am sympathetic to your predicament. So should you wish to run
out of that door, without paying. I will turn my back.
JED is concerned about turning his back.
JED: I will turn my back.
DOGSTAR: Are you going to turn your back?
JED: I am not actually going to turn my back, I am just not going to
stop you running away.
DOGSTAR helps himself to more water
JED: Can I give you some friendly advice?
DOGSTAR: How much will that cost?
JED: Friendly advice is free.
DOGSTAR: Why aren't you charging?
JED: Normally I would charge. I value myself and my words and words
got no value unless you charge for them. But this is friendly advice.
DOGSTAR: So it's worthless.
JED: Not entirely.
DOGSTAR: Then why is it free?
JED: He is coming back to kill you.
DOGSTAR: Say that again.
JED: He is coming back to kill you.
DOGSTAR: And again.
JED: He is coming back to kill you.
DOGSTAR: I hear what you are saying, but I hear no advice.
JED: Run.
DOGSTAR: Run. That ain't a word I am familiar with.
JED: If you don't high tail it out of town, he will shoot you. He will.
DOGSTAR: And why would he do that?
JED: Because he can. In these parts he has the power to take life
without retribution. To kill just because you can. That's a wonderful power.
You see a spider and bammm!
JED slams the bar with his hand as if killing a spider.
DOGSTAR suddenly reaches inside his coat
... spooking JED.
DOGSTAR: Did you just kill a spider?
JED: No Sir.
DOGSTAR: If you kill a spider, you should eat it.
[end of extract]