Delilah by Len Cuthbert


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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent


ACT 1 - SCENE 1

Saturday Afternoon

Stage Right: Mick and Dee-J's Home

At Rise: Dee-J's birthday party at Mick and Dee-J's home.
Delilah and Dee-J run in and playfully chat and dance to the music.
Under the table is a large pot with the doll/monkey and a long heavy
rope tied around its waist. Red rags or pieces of cloth cover the
doll. There is also a bed sheet to cover the table, and a box or bag
with the large knife in it. Music ends and Delilah and Dee-J finish
dancing.


(Enter Mick, rubbing the back of his head)

Mick: What is the matter with you?

(Enter Jade, following Mick)

Jade: What? I barely skinned you.

Mick: Am I bleeding?

Delilah: What have you done now?

Mick: It's Xbox golf. You're not supposed to use a real golf
club.

Dee-J: Please tell me you didn't hit our TV.

Mick: How could she. My head was blocking her swing.

Jade: You still got all your teeth?

Mick: Yeh.

Jade: Then what's the problem? Let me take a look.

Mick: You are not touching my head.

Dee-J: Why does someone always get hurt at my birthday parties?

Delilah: You keep inviting Jade.

Jade: There'd be no party in Birthday Party without me. Okay. Okay.
I think we've hit our quota of cynicism for the day. Get ready
everyone because the real action is about to begin.

Mick: Geez. The girl stops at nothing.

Delilah: We're going to be victims of homicide.

(Jade hands out lab coats)

Jade: It's time for the annual telling of the story of Dee-J's
birth.

Delilah: Where'd you get these?

Jade: I have connections.

Mick: So, they're from the asylum.

Jade: Are you about finished?

(Jade turns this into a big production. She gets them to join her
around the kitchen table)

Jade: Okay, okay everyone, gather in. Come, come. Prepare the
table.

Mick: I sense a sacrifice about to take place.

Delilah: I let her be my friend. Isn't that enough of a sacrifice?

Jade: Lay that sheet over the table.

(Mick and Delilah put the sheet on the table. Jade places the bowl in
front of Delilah and the box with the knife in front of Mick)

Delilah: If she pulls out a Voodoo doll and starts stabbing it with
pins, I'm saying hasta la vista baby.

Jade: On this day, a true miracle of life took place. A beautiful
young girl entered this world. But she didn't come in peace.

Dee-J: Should we have the first aid kit nearby?

Mick: I was thinking more along the lines of wearing a helmet.

Delilah: You could wear riot gear and she'll still clock you.

Jade: Do I have to separate you two? (Beat) The world had long waited
for her mother to release this child. The anticipated date came, but
the child refused to vacate. Two weeks later, chemical warfare was
used to induce the mother. But the child desisted and remained in the
warm viscous of the womb.

Delilah: Is this suitable for children?

Mick: I'm not sure it's suitable for us.

Delilah: That's what I meant.

Jade: Stubborn and circumventing any plead to budge in the early hours
of that first day of September, the medical combat team took physical
action and decided to infiltrate by force and abduct the child. The
weapon of choice selected?

(Jade pulls the knife from the bag/box)

Scalpel.
Mick: } (together)
Delilah: } Whoa!

Delilah: Hello!

Mick: Note to self. Hide the kitchen knives when Jade arrives. Hey
that rhymes.

Delilah: Poetry is the quickest way to a woman's heart.

Jade: Not as quick as a butcher's knife if you two don't shut it.

(Jade swings knife)

Jade: And with a gash to the mother's belly and great bloodshed, the
battle ensued.

(Jade signals Delilah to lift the lid of the pot as Jade pulls the
doll from it and raises it above her head, umbilical cord rope
attached)

Jade: Finally relenting, the child appeared, and a ceasefire was
proclaimed, and so this day, September first, is known as the birth
date of Dee-J.

Delilah: (Sarcastically) Nice.

Jade: I'm not done. Little baby Dee-J had a chemical infection
called Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. She had inhaled her first waste
before being delivered. In layman's terms, you were born full of crap.

Mick: Right from the mouth of an expert.

Jade: But with a bit of lovin' and attention and medical
intervention, she survived. And because of that, for the twelfth year
in a row, we can say, happy birthday Dee-J.

Delilah: Now you're done.

Jade: Says who?

Delilah: Says my insurance policy. And me.

Mick: So. That's it?

Jade: Apparently.

Mick: Good. The first year we didn't need to dial nine one one.

(Delilah wraps up the cord and doll)

Delilah: You know, if you keep that up and we'll have to put Dee-J
into therapy.

Mick: Her and Jade could share a room then.

(Exit Delilah and Dee-J to another room)

Delilah: C'mon Dee-J. I want to hear that other song you were
telling me about.

Jade: I'm a visual story teller. What's so wrong with that?

Mick: I don't like the potential of being a premature organ donor.
(Beat) Can you believe she's twelve? Next year she's officially a
teen. She'll be thirteen.

Jade: Wow. You must have excelled in math Mick. And do you know what
comes next?

Mick: } (Together)

Jade: } (Together) Fourteen.

Mick: I'm dumbfounded by your insight. (Beat) She's hitting that
stage of life I'm not very informed on.

Jade: What's that?

Mick: You know, the female thing.

Jade: The female thing? Wow. You know, we females have lots of things
so if you could be more specific with what you're referring to or
maybe draw me some sort of illustration that would be helpful. Or, you
could just point.

Mick: You love being the queen of awkward, don't you? (Beat) So,
you'll help me?

Jade: With what?

Mick: With Dee-J. Growing up.

Jade: That's gonna happen without your help.

Mick: I mean, talking to her about growing up. I'm just her
brother. I'm not great at being a parent. I suck at this stuff.

Jade: Read a book. You'll figure it out. It's not rocket science.

Mick: You're right. It's quantum physics.

Jade: I'd love to help but I'm still working on figuring myself out.

Mick: Let's hope you live long enough.

Jade: Well, I'm going to hit the road. Thanks for the invite, Mick.
Talk to you later.

(Exit quickly Jade to Centre Stage. Mick cleans up. Enter Delilah)

Delilah: Where's Jade?

Mick: She left. Went home I think.

Delilah: Really? She didn't even say she was going. That's weird.
(Pause) Mick, that was a great party. Again. Thanks for always letting
me be part of Dee-J's birthday.

Mick: She wanted you here.

Delilah: And you didn't?

Mick: Of course, but she specifically asked

Delilah: Just messing with you Mick. I feel like I'm with family
when I'm here. It's a nice escape from working on my thesis.

Mick: I don't know how you keep at it. You're a champion.

Delilah: I thrive on the pain and agony. Why do you think I share a
flat with Jade?

Mick: } (Together)
Delilah: } (Together) The pain and agony.

(Mick calls off)

Mick: Dee-J. Delilah's going.

(Enter Dee-J)

Dee-J: Thanks for coming.

Delilah: Happy Birthday.

Dee-J: Where's Jade?

Mick: She already went.

Dee-J: Oh. Well tell her thanks for the party. And for letting us live
another day.

Delilah: I'll do that. Goodnight. Goodbye Mick.

(Exit Delilah. Light transition to Jade at CS)

ACT 1 - SCENE 2

Same Afternoon.

Centre Stage: Lawn of Delilah and Jade's flat.

At Rise: Jade is sitting on a ratty old wooden chair facing DS.

Delilah: I figured you'd be out here. You know what? I don't mind
you bringing my chair out here on the lawn but you need to be
considerate enough to bring it back in. You left without saying
goodbye.

Jade: What? I was going to see you back here at our place anyways.

Delilah: I'm talking about Dee-J. You didn't even tell her you
were going.

Jade: Oh. Right.

Delilah: Okay. So. What's up? You're being weird. More than usual.

Jade: Twelve. Can you believe it? She's twelve. (pause) Did you
know that twelve is the official age of responsibility?

Delilah: Well you're double that and it's still not working for you.

Jade: You remember being twelve?

Delilah: No, not really. I remember being thirteen though. Thirteen
sucked. Big time. What an emotional roller coaster that was.

Jade: I wasn't asking you about thirteen Delilah. Actually, I
wasn't really asking you at all.

Delilah: I also remember eleven. Meeting you for the first time in
grade eight. You were the new kid in the class. A little weird too. You haven't
changed a bit.

Jade: That was twelve.

Delilah: What?

Jade: We were twelve when we met.

Delilah: Are you sure?

Jade: We were twelve when we met.

Delilah: Okay. Whatever. No. You were twelve. I was eleven. I skipped
grade four. You're a year older than I am even though we're in the same grade.

Jade: Yeh. Whatever. I do remember getting stuck beside you because we
shared a desk.

Delilah: Other way around honey. I got stuck with you. And you
couldn't even say my name. You kept calling me Diarrhea. You'd
yell across the playground, run Diarrhea, run!

Jade: Vaguely sounds familiar. (Pause) I was so jealous of your name.

Delilah: My name. What's so great about Delilah?

Jade: Three syllables. Trumps one and two-syllable names. It's
pretty much impossible to rhyme anything with.

Delilah: You seemed to think Diarrhea rhymed.

Jade: Yeh, well it doesn't. Delilah is the perfect name. Not like
Jade. Everything rhymes with Jade. Trust me. None of it's pretty
either. I loved your name right from the beginning.

Delilah: Well, I never knew that.

Jade: Yeh, well, I didn't bring it up because I didn't want it
going to your head.

Delilah: Well, thank you for being such a caring influence. We were
like best friends and then you were gone.

Jade: I guess you were just too weird for me.

Delilah: I never saw you again until university. First year. You
pretty much ignored me.

Jade: Maybe I didn't recognize you. Besides, wasn't it me who
agreed to share an apartment with you second year.

Delilah: Because your first roommate dumped you and I took pity on
you.

Jade: Did you ever go to camp?

Delilah: What?

Jade: Summer Camp. Did you ever go?

Delilah: That's a bit random. No. Are you kidding me? Camp. Wasn't
ever on my radar.

Jade: I loved camp. Hanging out with other kids. Being away from home.
Swimming. Climbing. Campfires.

Delilah: Everything I hate.

Jade: Singing the craziest songs.

Delilah: And the list goes on.

Jade: Last time I was at camp, I was twelve years old.

Delilah: How do you even remember that?

Jade: Last day of camp, we stood and waited in front of our cabins as
parents hugged and kissed the filthy faces of their kids who hadn't
bathed all week. Car after car drove off with my friends until there
was just me. My mother was always late, so I was used to being last.
The camp director asked me when she was coming. I said, no sweat.
She'll get here. The woman's never on time.

Delilah: You didn't actually refer to your mother as the woman.

Jade: Uhmm. Yeh. Of course, when they heard a twelve-year-old refer to
her mother as the woman they knew they had a problem on their hands.
They tried calling home but our phone was out of service. Another hour
passed and no sign of her. Long short of it, my mother abandoned her kid.

Delilah: So. When did she finally show up?

Jade: She didn't. Gone. Somewhere between Monday and Friday the
woman ditched me.

Delilah: What? WHAT? You're kidding me. Jade. Your mother abandoned
you?

Jade: Relax. It was a long time ago. I think I'm over it.

Delilah: I can't believe this.

Jade: I'm sure she was half blitzed as usual. Or maybe it was the
one time she was sober enough to realize it was the perfect
opportunity to get rid of me.

Delilah: What kind of mother does that to her daughter?

Jade: Mine.

Delilah: I'd kill her.

Jade: Good. If she ever comes around again, I'll introduce you.

Delilah: I'm totally in shock.

Jade: When Children's Aid came to pick me up, the camp director
broke down, bawling her eyes out, hugging me, while I stood there,
like a wet noodle, totally expressionless, staring into thin air. I
guess all those days my mother left me alone at home to fend for
myself was preparing me for the final fate of our relationship. I
should be grateful.

Delilah: Jade. I don't know what to say. Why didn't I know this
about you?

Jade: I forgot to mention it when we first met. We were twelve,
remember.

Delilah: I was eleven.

Jade: Oh, yeh. Right. You were the brilliant one.

Delilah: We've been best friends for the past three years and
you've never told me this?

Jade: I've never told anyone. So, consider yourself special. I just
told you.

Delilah: Where did you go to live?

Jade: Foster homes. Be grateful for a stable home. Fostering isn't
fun.

Delilah: Stable? You've met my mother. Suffocating and embarrassing.
All glitz and glare.

Jade: Better than smoke and mirrors.

Delilah: Wow. We're the product of psycho mothers. We could have
been twins. C'mon. Let's go inside.

(Jade gets up and starts to leave. Delilah gestures to Jade who
isn't paying attention)

Delilah: Chair.

(Delilah picks up the chair and follows Jade)

Jade: You hear about the mother who said to her psychiatrist, Doctor,
I think my son is crazy. He thinks he's a chicken. Doctor told the
mother to take her son to the hospital. Mother says, we would, but we
need the eggs"

(Lights fade to black)

ACT 1 - SCENE 3

10 days later, Monday Morning

Stage Right: Mick and Dee-J's Home

AT RISE: Dee-J enters dressed radical (colorful clothes, hair punked,
several pony tails, or teased). She tries to sneak towards the door to
leave. Mick is at the table.

Mick: Where you going so early?

Dee-J: Meeting some friends. Before school. To do an assignment. See ya.

Mick: Whoa. Hold it. Where did that come from?

Dee-J: What?

Mick: What, what. You can't go to school like that.

Dee-J: Is there a problem?

Mick: You think that's appropriate to wear to school?

Dee-J: Yeh.

(Mick makes a buzzer noise)

Mick: Incorrect. Try again.

Dee-J: Yeh.

Mick: Really.

Dee-J: Yeh, really.

Mick: What are people going to say?

Dee-J: No one will see me anyways.

Mick: No one will miss you. Anyways. Where did you get those clothes?

Dee-J: Borrowed from a friend.

Mick: You share clothes?

Dee-J: Yeh. Don't you?

Mick: No.

Dee-J: You should. Your selection is limiting. Seriously.

Mick: There's nothing wrong with my clothes.

Dee-J: Mine either.

Mick: Matter of opinion.

Dee-J: Exactly my point.

Mick: Sit down for a minute.

Dee-J: There's nothing wrong with my clothes. And I'm going to be
late for school.

Mick: I want to talk about something else.

Dee-J: Now?

Mick: It won't take long. Okay. Listen. You're getting older now

Dee-J: You're stating the obvious. This isn't about a curfew is it?

Mick: No.

Dee-J: Getting my driver's licence?

Mick: You're twelve.

Dee-J: Just getting a head start.

Mick: Well, don't. It's about you you're growing up
getting older changing. Okay, how do I say this? Girls around
your age well, they

Dee-J: Dress creatively?

Mick: You mean bizarre. But that's not what I'm getting at. Look,
I picked this book up for you.

Dee-J: That's really nice Mick, but I've already got so much to
read for school.

Mick: This is different. This is important. Here.

(Dee-J reads the title)

Dee-J: My Changing Body. You want me to have plastic surgery?

Mick: No.

Dee-J: 'Cause it didn't work for Michael Jackson and look where he
is. You saying I'm having a problem with my looks? Cause right now
you're making me feel all self-conscious and stuff, you know?

Mick: Just read it okay?

(Dee-J opens the book and looks at the pictures)

Dee-J: Is there going to be a test after? Whoa. What is that?

(Dee-J attempts to show Mick the picture)

Dee-J: What the heck is that Mick?

Mick: Well, that's why you should read it. To answer all your
questions.

Dee-J: Wow, Mick. Listen to this.

Mick: No, no. It's okay. See, it's for you to read.

Dee-J: Oh, look at that. There's even a chapter on The Sentence Ender.

Mick: What?

Dee-J: The Sentence Ender. (pause) At the end of every sentence,
there's a

Mick: Period? Let's see that book for a minute.

(Mick attempts to take the book but Dee-J pulls it away)

Dee-J: Hey, hey, hey. This isn't for your eyes. This is chick stuff.
And you're not a chick.

Mick: And neither are you. Remember, you're twelve. Twelve! One
freakin dozen.

(Dee-J laughs and tosses the book to Mick)

Dee-J: Okay. You can take it back and get a refund.

Mick: What? What's so funny?

Dee-J: I already know this stuff.

Mick: You do?

Dee-J: Ah, yeh. It's not rocket science.

Mick: Who told you?

Dee-J: Mother Nature, Mick. Oh. And Jade.

Mick: You talked to Jade?

Dee-J: All the time. You got a problem with that?

Mick: Yes. I mean, no. No. That's good. What did she tell you? Never
mind. Why didn't you tell me she'd told you?

Dee-J: She gave me twenty bucks to string you along. Gotta go. See
ya.

(Exit Dee-J)

Mick: Well, I think that went pretty well.

(Fade to black)

ACT 1 - SCENE 4

The following Friday

Stage Left: Delilah's bedroom in Delilah and Jade's flat.

AT RISE: Delilah is sitting on her bed in their flat working on an
application. Jade enters with excitement and starts talking
immediately.

Jade: Okay, it's Friday, I don't have to work tonight and you, me
and some friends are making plans for a par-ty. Okay, actually, I'm
making plans and we're all just doing what I say. So, we're all
loading into three cars, which I've arranged and we're heading
down to the beach for an overnighter. We're dropping by Chanelle's
to get a load of wood for a bonfire. Nora's bringing the stereo.
Gillian is packing some food. We'll need to swing by the rental
joint to pick up a couple tents and I told the girls that we'd cover
the rental cost well, you'd cover the rental and I'd just be
the middleman or woman whatever. (pause) That okay? Earth to
Delilah. Hello. Have you heard anything I've said?

Delilah: Yes.

Jade: Really. What did I say?

Delilah: I said I heard you. I didn't say I was listening.

Jade: Nice. We need some money.

Delilah: How much?

Jade: Twelve grand.

Delilah: Check my purse.

Jade: Sadly, you probably have twelve grand in your purse. We only
need twenty-five bucks. What are you doing?

Delilah: Work.

Jade: Well, wrap it up. We're gonna get going right away.

Delilah: I can't. Sorry.

Jade: Well, sorry, yes you can.

Delilah: Sorry, no, I can't. And I'm not feeling good.

Jade: Which is a good reason to come. Get some fresh air and you'll
be your old unsociable recluse again. Let's go. They'll be waiting for us.

Delilah: I'm serious, Jade. No can do. I'm not going. I feel lousy
and I'm busy.

Jade: C'mon. This might be our last chance before Winter.

Delilah: That's fine. Go.

Jade: What are you so busy with that you would miss out on this?

Delilah: That's not your business.

Jade: Yes, it is.

Delilah: No, it's not.

Jade: Everything you do is my business. You know that.

Delilah: Well not this time.

(Jade grabs the sheet from Delilah)

Jade: Well yes, this time. What's this?

Delilah: Give that to me.

Jade: Application?

Delilah: Jade, give it to me.

Jade: Debate Team.

Delilah: Jade!

Jade: The Debate Team? Who is this for?

Delilah: Give it back to me.

Jade: What? You can't be serious?

Delilah: What's wrong with it?

Jade: What's wrong with it? What's RIGHT with it? It's got loser
written all over it.

Delilah: Then maybe you should join.

Jade: No thanks.

Delilah: It's for people who are argumentative, verbose and
obnoxious. It's got you written all over it.

Jade: I AM NOT Obnoxious. Noxious maybe. C'mon, you don't want to
do this.

Delilah: Yes, I do.

Jade: But we're already involved in lots of other things.

Delilah: Exactly. We. I want to do something that I can do. On my
own.

Jade: You can't do anything on your own.

Delilah: Thank you for the vote of confidence.

Jade: I'm just telling you like it is.

Delilah: I don't remember asking you to.

(Jade responds as if being persuaded)

Jade: Okay. Fine. I'll do it with you then.

Delilah: I'm not asking you do it with me. I'm telling you I'm
doing it alone.

Jade: Oh. Well. I guess I don't have to be in everything that you
are.

Delilah: Exactly.

Jade: Yes, I do. You need me. Admit it, you need me. You can't do
this without me.

Delilah: Yes, I can.

Jade: Okay! I need you. Please. I need to need you. I want you - to
want - me.

Delilah: I just want to do this, okay? Now get out of my room and go
do your thing.

Jade: Fine.

(Jade starts to leave but then stops)

Jade: Okay. Hold on for just a second. Let's talk about this.

Delilah: I don't want to talk about it.

Jade: You need a partner. Aren't debate teams in pairs?

Delilah: Yes. And there will be lots of people who need a partner.
Jade: Oh. Right. That's good. You need some new friends. I mean,
really. How long can I keep propping you up? I have a life too you
know and I can't always be there for you.

Delilah: Exactly.

(Jade starts to leave)

Jade: Okay. I'll go. But not before I say one more thing.

Delilah: What.

Jade: What goes peck, peck, peck, boom? A chicken in a mine field.
Okay. I'm gone!

(Delilah tosses a pillow as lights black out)

ACT 1 - SCENE 5

The following Wednesday evening

Stage Right: Mick and Dee-J's Home.

AT RISE: Wednesday Movie Night. Mick is getting food ready. Dee-J is
sitting at the table with her iPod ear buds in and texting on her
phone.

Mick: Dee-J, the girls are going to be here shortly. Can you get the
movie ready to go? Dee-J.!

(Mick pulls the ear buds from her ear)

Dee-J: Oww. Do you mind? That hurt you know.

Mick: Can you give me a hand?

Dee-J: In a minute.

Mick: I need you to give me a hand now.

Dee-J: I said I will in a minute. (pause) There's a dance a week
this Friday. My friends want me to go.

Mick: No.

Dee-J: Why?

Mick: Because you can't.

Dee-J: Well, you need to give me a reason.

Mick: No, I don't. I said no. That's the reason. Put your phone
down and give me a hand.

Dee-J: I have to text my friends and tell them my brother is being a
jerk.

(Mick grabs Dee-J's phone)

Dee-J: Hey. Give me my phone.

Mick: You paying for it? No. Then it's not actually yours.

Dee-J: You're a real jerk, you know that.

Mick: You're repeating yourself.

(Enter Jade)

Jade: Knock, knock. Hello?

(Jade stands in silence)

Jade: Am I at the right address? This is Wednesday movie night,
right?

Mick: Everything's in the living room. Movie just needs to be put
in.

Jade: Whew! For a minute there I thought I was at Goldman's Funeral
Parlor. Well, let's get this party started. Anyone know what Chicken
Teriyaki is? (pause) The name of the oldest living kamikaze pilot.
(Silence) Okay, please don't make me explain that. Hey Dee-J. Funky
getup. What we watchin' tonight?

Dee-J: Don't know.

Mick: She's mad because I won't let her go to a dance.

Jade: Oh. Well, I'll let you.

(Enter Delilah)

Jade: Kidding. Sorry kid. No can do. Boss's orders.

Delilah: Knock, knock.

Jade: Come on in. Are you family or friends of the deceased?

Delilah: What?

Jade: This party was declared dead at seven oh six local time.

Delilah: You telling your jokes again?

Dee-J: Can I have my phone back?

Mick: No.

Jade: Mick. The girl needs to communicate.

(To Jade)

Mick: Do you mind?

(To Dee-J)

Mick: I asked you to do a few simple things. Why should I let you have
a phone?

Jade: Because she's a chick and has twenty-thousand words per day to
use up.

(Dee-J storms out. Delilah follows after her)

Dee-J: Why are you always hassling me?

Jade: And so that would be one reason we don't have you plan her
birthday parties.

Mick: Thanks for the help.

Jade: Lighten up, Mick.

Mick: Is that your best advice?

Jade: Why not let her go to the dance?

Mick: Because she's twelve years old.

Jade: And twelve-year-olds can't dance?

Mick: When she starts showing respect and living up to what's
expected of her, she can dance all she wants. I work Friday nights and
I have no way to get her there and home anyways.

Jade: I'm sure one of her friends will give her a ride.

Mick: I'm not leaving her in the responsibility of her friends. I
can't go to work and be worrying whether she's okay or not.

Jade: She'll be okay Mick. Let her grow up.

Mick: Why are you fighting me on this? I'm trying to raise my sister
and I have to fight with you too?

Jade: I'm not fighting you Mick. You think I don't care too? I'm
just trying to give you another perspective.

Mick: And what's that? Let her do what she wants?

Jade: Not a bad idea. Let her be herself.

Mick: Because you did what you wanted?

Jade: What's so bad about that? Look how I turned out.

Mick: Thank you. You just proved my point. Listen. I need you to
support me. Help me out.

Jade: What more do you want, Mick?

Mick: Talk to her. You have this way with her. She'll listen to
you.

Jade: You want me to sit down with her, have a girl to girl chat and
fix stuff.

Mick: Yeh.

Jade: Forget it, Mick. It's always the same. You let me have this
limited relationship with her only when it benefits you. When you need
something fixed.

Mick: Not true.

Jade: Yes, true. You make every decision for Dee-J without any input
from me and when you get stuck or mess something up, then you'll ask
for my help.

Mick: I am her guardian.

Jade: Then you obviously don't need me.

Mick: Of course, I do need you. You're an important part of her life
and I want your input.

Jade: I don't believe you.

Mick: I'm totally serious. You have a great relationship with her.

Jade: So, you'll let me have input.

Mick: Sure. As long as we both discuss it first.

Jade: Okay. Fair enough. There's something we need to discuss.

Mick: Fine. What is it?

Jade: You need to tell her she's adopted.

Mick: Oh, c'mon, Jade. Not this.

Jade: Yes, this.

Mick: You know I can't do that.

Jade: See.

Mick: We can't tell her that.

Jade: I told you I didn't believe you. First thing I suggest and you
already won't discuss it.

Mick: We've talked about this.

Jade: When are you going to say something?

Mick: I'm not. I can't.

Jade: What happens if one day someone else says something and she
discovers the truth? Have you ever thought that one through Mick? Have
you? You know what that's going to be like. She'll realize that
you've been lying to her all this time.

Mick: I haven't been lying.

Jade: That's how she'll see it. You should have told her this long
time ago.

Mick: She'll never know. My parents are gone, so there's no need
to know.

Jade: Never say never Mick. It'll come back to bite you.

Mick: This shouldn't even concern you.

Jade: If she ever finds out, and trust me, she will, she'll discover
I knew and that puts my relationship with her at risk because you
wouldn't tell her. That's unfair to me.

Mick: It's a no-win situation either way, Jade.

Jade: See Mick. It's always your decision. Never me. You don't
want my help. You don't need my help. Just do it on your own, then.
You know what? This movie night has pretty much derailed. I'm
going.

(Jade starts to leave)

Mick: I can't tell her. You know that.

Jade: No Mick. I don't.

(Jade leaves. Delilah returns with Dee-J, who walks on past and off
stage)

Mick: Thank you for dealing with that. I'm sorry.

Delilah: Hey, don't worry about it.

Mick: Jade left already.

Delilah: Not a complete surprise. (pause) Did you ever know that
Jade's mom abandoned her when she was twelve?

Mick: Yes. I do.

Delilah: You do? Oh. I just thought she hadn't told anyone.

Mick: She hasn't. I know because Jade was put into foster care after
that.

Delilah: Yes, she said that.

Mick: Here. She lived with us for a year.

Delilah: What? Really?

Mick: That's how we know each other and why we act like siblings
sometimes.

Delilah: Wow. I didn't know that.

Mick: No. Not many people do. (Beat) Listen Delilah. Can I ask you
something?

Delilah: Of course.

Mick: Before my parents died, they had written in their will that I
should be Dee-J's guardian in case anything ever happened to them.
Which is exactly what happened. Even though I wasn't ready to raise
a three-year old at the time, I'm glad they were smart enough to be
prepared.

Delilah: Mick, you've done an outstanding job. You've gone above
and beyond what a brother should be expected to do.

Mick: I always feel like I should be doing more.

Delilah: Look at her. She's the luckiest girl in the world to have
a brother like you.

Mick: Yeh, well, thanks for the confirmation but I don't think she
got the memo on that yet.

Delilah: Give it time, Mick. She's just going through the surface
reactions of a typical preteen. So, what is it you wanted to ask?

Mick: Right. Well, even though I know how important a will is, I still
haven't written one. For the sake of Dee-J, I should have one in case
something ever happened to me. (pause) So, I'm wondering if you
would be okay if I put you in my will as the guardian of Dee-J.

Delilah: Me? Oh, Mick. You don't want me for that role. I'd make a
horrible parent. What about Jade?

Mick: Well, I did think about Jade, but I just felt that you'd be
the best person for this.

Delilah: Mick. I am like so honoured. Would you mind if I thought
about it first?

Mick: Oh. Of course. I didn't expect you to just answer right away.

Delilah: I just want to respect you and make the right choice,
that's all.

Mick: See. That's exactly why you're the perfect choice. You take
things like this seriously.

Delilah: Did you talk to Dee-J about it?

Mick: Not yet. I'll wait until you decide first.

Delilah: Yeh, that's a good idea.

Mick: Thank you. (beat) So it doesn't look like our movie night is
going to happen.

Delilah: No, it doesn't.

Mick: You're welcome to stay.

Delilah: Thank you but I should probably go.

Mick: I'm sorry you came all the way over here and

Delilah: It's okay Mick. It's probably a good thing. I'm still
trying to shake a bug and could use the extra sleep. Maybe I'll try
and see if I can catch up with Jade.

Mick: Good idea. Thank you again for your help.

(They hug and Delilah leaves)

Delilah: Always my pleasure. Goodnight Mick.

Mick: Goodnight.

(Lights transition to Jade at Centre Stage. Delilah arrives)

ACT 1 - SCENE 6

Same Evening

Centre Stage: Somewhere in-between Mick's home and Delilah and
Jade's flat.

(Jade hides Upstage. When Delilah arrives, Jade runs and tackles her
to the ground in fun. Delilah struggles to get up)

Delilah: Jade! Thanks a lot. I think I twisted my back. Here. Help
me up.

Jade: Sorry. I just couldn't resist.

Delilah: What's with you? Why are you still acting so weird?

Jade: How's Dee-J?

Delilah: Mixed up and confused. She's so much like you!

Jade: I guess Mick told you we had a little spat.

Delilah: Not really. Poor guy has his hands full being a brother and
playing the father role. He told me that you used to live with his
family. That's another thing you've never said anything about.

Jade: Yeh. I was his foster sister. I was, until his mom kicked me
out.

Delilah: She kicked you out.

Jade: Is that a surprise? C'mon. I'm surprised you haven't
kicked me out yet.

Delilah: Why would I do that? We're best friends. I could never
leave you.

Jade: Never say never, kid. It'll come back to bite you in the butt.
Although, you did eliminate me from your debate team initiative.
How's that going? Without me.

Delilah: It's not. I'm not on the debate team.

Jade: What?

Delilah: I'm not on.

Jade: You're lying.

Delilah: No, I'm not.

Jade: You're not on?

Delilah: No.

Jade: You're not on the debate team.

Delilah: Why do you insist on me repeating myself? Do you get glory
from my agony?

Jade: Sometimes. But that's beside the point. You know what?
They're not getting away with this.

Delilah: No. I'm looking after this myself.

Jade: Whatever. No, you're not.

Delilah: Stop it Jade! This is exactly what my mother does to me all
the time. Controlling my life, and I don't need you doing the same.

Jade: Well you gotta do something. This is a bit embarrassing. I
mean, has anyone ever been rejected from the debate team? It's not
like people are lining up to get on it.

Delilah: They didn't actually reject me. I just don't have a
partner. And before you say anything, the answer is, no.

Jade: I wasn't going to say anything. Why don't you have a
partner?

Delilah: Because everyone that signed up came with a partner. Which
left me without one.

Jade: They can't kick you out because you don't have a partner.

Delilah: They aren't. I'm quitting.

Jade: What? You're quitting? No, you're not.

Delilah: Yes, I am. And I did. And that's final.

Jade: No, it's not. Nothing is ever final. We'll get you a
partner.

Delilah: No Jade. I told you. This is exactly what I didn't want.
Stay out of it. I've made my decision and I'm quitting. It's
stupid anyways.

Jade: Let's just go home and we can sleep on it.

Delilah: We? This has nothing to do with you.

Jade: Sure it does.

Delilah: You're the one who was against me joining in the first place.

Jade: Well. Things have changed and the tables have turned. And if
I'm going to be your partner, I need to sleep on it too.

(Jade walks away)

Delilah: You're not going to be my partner, Jade. It's final. You
understand? Okay. So now you're not listening to me.

(Delilah follows as lights fade to black)

[End of Extract]


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