Boughbreak by Alex Nicol
SCENE ONE
A MATCH IS STRUCK, ALLOWED TO FLAME AND THEN, DELIBERATELY FOUR CANDLES ARE LIT ON A DECORATED BIRTHDAY CAKE
THERE IS SUFFICIENT LIGHT TO SEE PENNY SITTING WITH A SMALL BIRTHDAY CAKE IN FRONT OF HER.
PENNY
On my fourth birthday Pa, my grandfather took me to the tree where the fairies live really live. He reached down and shielded a pointy topped brown toadstool.
"They're fairy castles. If you touch them they'll break and the fairies will have nowhere to live."
I held my breath for fear of bruising them
SHE SUCKS IN HER BREATH AND THE CANDLES FLICKER.
On the bark of the tree, claws tight she showed me the brown husk of a cicada. Pa showed me the split down the back.
"A shinny, green, red-eyed flying horse for the prince of the fairies lives there. Listen and you'll hear him."
Zhummmmm . I bent my head back until my neck ached and I looked and looked and away at the top of the tree there he was. In
that cool place under the camphor laurel I knelt on a part of the tree trunk turned root. The grey raised bark cut pink patterns in my
knees and I didn't care.
Click! A memory, image sharp for all of my life.
Afterwards Pa gave me slices of bread and butter sprinkled with hundreds and thousands.
"It's fairy bread," he said. And grown up lemonade to drink, "Just a sip."
Why do I remember it all so vividly now? I haven't thought of it for years. My Grandfather was the cleverest, kindest person in the whole world.
SCENE TWO
DARKNESS. THE SOUND OF A METRONOME BEATING TIME AND THEN, THE SCALES PLAYED CLUMSILY ON A RECORDER.
PENNY
"Think of the multiplication tables. Twice two is four. Three times two is six. Four times two is eight. Play each note in the right order and that's all there is to music."
A CLUMSY ATTEMPT AT THE SCALES THAT SUCCEEDS.
SCENE THREE
PENNY IS SITTING WITH A LARGE DOLL IN HER LAP. THE ROOM IS THE LOUNGE OF A MIDDLE CLASS FAMILY. THERE'S EVIDENCE OF A LOVE OF MUSIC, A MUSIC STAND, THERE'S A BUST OF MOZART AND THERE'S A PRACTICAL RECORD PLAYER.
THE DOLL HAS LONG BLACK HAIR. IT'S DRESSED IN AN ELABORATE CHRISTENING ROBE. PENNY IS METHODICALLY BRUSHING THE HAIR WITH A GOOD HAIR BRUSH.
PENNY
Each note in the right order and that's all there is to it Daddy's philosophy of music. Da Da Da Dum THE FIRST NOTES OF BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH. Just notes played in the right order. Chopin's Rondo? Just notes played in the right order on a piano. The 1812? Notes played in the right order with some bells and cannons thrown in for good measure. I got a recorder, then a flute and never saw it coming.
SHE SINGS A QUICK BURST OF THE SCALES.
"Good girl! Good Girl! That's daddy's good little girl. Do it again for daddy. Come on you can do it. "
Again and again and again. SHE BRUSHES THE DOLL'S HAIR.
Sixty three, sixty four, sixty five. Almost finished. One hundred strokes a day with a fine hair brush. It's the only way to beautiful, healthy hair. Daddy was a great believer in repetition . Confession two o'clock every Saturday. Mass, six O'clock every Sunday Children of Mary me of course, not him half past seven every Thursday. My night out with the girls and so good for me musically
SINGS HAIL QUEEN OF HEAVEN STAR OF THE SEA.
Children of Mary? The virgin club? Long blue capes and chaste white veils? You don't remember them? Never saw us? Of course the fifties, the fawn fifties who remembers anything from the fifties?
I was supposed to put the cloak and veil on at home and wear them all the way to the church. Can you imagine? Apparently if anyone came upon me in the cloak of blue and happened to stone me to death I'd go straight to heaven as a virgin martyr these days of course it's exploding vests I actually did it once, wore the gear through the streets . But nobody saw me nobody stoned me anyway.
There was no escaping Thursday night; daddy was thick as thieves with father Loneragan, the keeper of the virgins. I remember, the Thursday night before a girl got married at the end of the service she'd hand her cloak over to the keeper. He'd fold it up he had a special way of doing it took for ever, then he'd put it on the side altar. After the wedding the cloak would disappear, never to be seen again.
The keeper would lie in wait for any girl who turned up on her own at a church dance. He had this habit of taking you by elbow and rocking up and down while he interrogated you.
"Good evening Penelope."
Good evening Father"
"So, the beautiful Penelope, slayer of suitors, ever faithful to her husband the king Ulysses. Do you know the story?"
Yes Father.
"You do? You do? Versed in the classics then. Good. Very Good. Any young Ulysses here this evening?"
I don't think so father.
"Do you not now? That's good. That's very good you're so young and there's plenty of time."
Yes father. And all the time this rock up and down, up and down.
"Such and beautiful dress."
Yes father. And he's trying to look down the front of it. When he finally let you go and you walked away you always had the feeling that the hem of your skirt was caught in your panties. You know?
Seventy one, seventy two, seventy three After mum died daddy brushed my hair every morning before school. If I was going out at night he'd insist on doing it again. Seventy four, seventy five. I had hair I could sit on. I didn't really but that's what he would tell people and always, always, he would plait it. Marlee, his grandmother had beautiful hair apparently. Coal black until the day she died. There was a photo of her, hand tinted, oval frame, naked shoulders, so there was the hint, just the hint that she may not be wearing anything at all and all this hair cascading down. He loved that photo. I hated it. Used to have pride of place in this room. (Pause) When he left. I went to smash it but I couldn't. It's stored away somewhere. Seventy six, seventy seven.
She used to let him brush her hair. Told him the secret to beautiful hair was to have a handsome young man brush it every day, one hundred slow even strokes.
PAUSE.
You know the funny thing is that daddy wasn't a toucher. You know how some men can't tell a story without touching you. I'm not talking effeminate or anything nasty. It's just natural for them to touch. Daddy never did and he hated people to touch him.
I revolted once, about the hair thing. He's giving me the one hundred strokes treatment for the second time that day. I'm fifteen and I'm going to a dance with hair like a horse's tail. I'm late and I know that the keeper of the virgins is waiting. I started to squirm. He gave my hair a bit of a jerk.
"Sailors used to end their plait with a twist of tar to keep the hair in place. Did I ever tell you that? Eighty one, eighty two. Marlee told me. Do you want a twist of tar in your hair?" PAUSE
I I want to cut it.
"Eighty three, eighty four."
I want to cut my hair. I really want to cut it. I hate it. The boys call me the Viking Queen. I hate my hair. You can come with me to the hairdresser. I'll only take off a little bit.
I was pleading, crying, it all came out at once. You can watch, I said. Six inches that's all it will still be down to my shoulders.
" Eighty five, eighty six,"
Please!
"Eighty seven. Almost done."
Don't plait it. Leave it out. I look like a freak. Please, I'll wear it out. God his hands were tight in my hair, he pulled me around face to face. I remember something about it being wrong for a woman he called me a woman of my age to wear her hair loose. Signals he said. Society was full of signals, long, loose hair was a signal and you had to be seventeen to send that signal. I screamed at him, said I'd come home from the dance cut my hair off up to my ears and burn it. And God will punish you, he said.
God!
HAND TIGHT IN THE DOLLS HAIR SHE HOLDS IT CLOSE TO HER FACE.
"There was a time, not so long ago when men believed that the devil hid in the hair of a woman. That's why it must be bound. Don't laugh. The devil wants you to laugh. He likes you to think that he doesn't exist that's the way he does his work but Marlee showed me the devil. She was sitting in her big soft bed. I'll read you a story she said, snuggle up here beside me.
"Her book was covered in the most wonderful gothic drawings, goblins, demons terrible and I was safe beside her. And there on the page was beautiful young woman with hair spilling to her waist. Marlee bent over me. "See him?" But there was only a beautiful girl. "Look harder", she whispered in my ear and then, he sprang out at me from the folds of her hair. Marlee knew at once. "Ha" And she covered me with the black cloud of her hair. I was caught in there with him. I screamed and screamed while she held me to her soft chest and I heard her laugh. PAUSE
SHE RETURNS THE DOLL TO HER KNEE AND CONTINUES TO BRUSH ITS HAIR.
Eighty eight, eighty nine. For a while after mum died, Margaret, one of her friends used to come around. She said she wanted to make sure I was alright but it was daddy she was interested in. they even went out together once or twice. One night, as they were going out she stopped and turned, just to say good night. Daddy was behind her and I saw him lift his hand and touch her hair. She couldn't have felt it, he barely touched her, but I saw his face it was the first time I saw a man, not daddy.
PAUSE
THE IMAGE OF MARLEE'S OLD FASHIONED PHOTO IS PROJECTED BEHIND PENNY. IT LOOMS LARGE OVER EVERYTHING. SHE TURNS TO LOOK AT IT.
Daddy said I had her eyes, her smile. He called her a magician. He said he could still see her, working in me SHE SHUDDERS. I think she was a witch. Sometimes, when you hold your head just so, it all comes back, he said. I see myself as a little boy and jump with that pain remembered. You have her beautiful hair, he said. Family, he called it, family working down through the generations. Ninety one, ninety two.
LIGHTS FADE DOWN OF THE SCENE LEAVING MARLEE'S IMAGE.
SCENE FOUR
THE IMAGE REMAINS. MUSIC, ORCHESTRAL FEATURING THE FLUTE VIRTUOSO IS HEARD ALONG WITH A MAN'S VOICE OVER.
MAN'S VOICE.
Listen! Listen to that. One day that will be Penny. I have a vision of her and for her. People, dressed in their best. Rows of people on velvet seats listening to Penny and applauding. I've made that commitment to her and she's made it to me.
THE IMAGE OF MARLEE FADES BUT THE MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER. LIGHTS UP REVEAL PENNY AS A SCHOOL GIRL OF THE FIFTIES, LONG PLAITS, SCHOOL BAG.
PENNY
The last. The very last day of school over. No more pencils not more books no more standing in line No more learning by rote no more writing AMDG in curly writing at the top of every page No more nuns. No more plaits. No more plaits. NO MORE PLAITS!
SHE TAKES OFF HER SCHOOL TIE AND DRAPES IT OVER THE BUST OF MOZART.
He's my end of school present. Like him? He's been in the hall cupboard for weeks I wasn't supposed to know he's a surprise. Daddy's wrapped him and unwrapped him ten times. He'd like old goggle eyes here to be my date at the school dance tonight. See? He's stone. Cold. Unlikely to be tempted by my virginity.
" There are no boys no particular boy annoying you is there? Because sometimes boys, about you age .ahhhh"
. Some hope. There was a card with him. "May this young genius be your inspiration forever." Nobody ever told daddy that Mozart was as randy as a rat.
ANOTHER PIECE OF ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CRASHES IN ON TOP OF THE PIECE ALREADY PLAYING THEN ANOTHER AND ANOTHER.
PENNY (LAUGHING)
I'm supposed to practice with them. He's bought me every classical flute recording ever released. I swear he has. We listen to them day in and day out. He's learned the names of all the greats. When he heard that Jean Pierre Rampal played a gold flute he rushed off to buy me one. Tonight, he promised me a champagne supper, just for the two of us when I get back from the dance.
MOZART IS PUT BACK ON THE TABLE WITH A BANG. THE MUSIC COMES TO AN ABRUPT STOP.
When I get back from the dance I expect to have my first spinning headache.
BLACKOUT.
SCENE FIVE
PENNY
Bless me father for I have sinned. I have committed an act of impurity.
MAN'S VOICE
On your own or with a boy? Did this boy touch you? Where did he touch you? On the breast? Did he touch you on the breast? If you want forgiveness you must tell me.
LIGHTS UP. PENNY ON HER KNEES.
PENNY
Michael Boyle, for a bet. They couldn't have seen me; I was sitting right behind them as they divided the girls up. "You for her. You for her and Michael Boyle for the Viking Queen. Bet you can't touch her up."
"Jesus. She'll never come across."
They laughed. They laughed.
My dress was blue of course. Daddy likes blue some sort of shinny blue stuff and tulle, gloves and rope petticoats I had two I think the circle of safety. When I sat on my seat against the wall the dress took up the seats on either side of me.
I watched. I'd heard their secret. I saw the chooser meet the chosen bump together in a dance, go out and come back. He didn't come near me. I knew what he'd say. He'd say he tried but I wouldn't.
How much time does it take? I wondered to go out and come back ten minutes, twenty minutes? I don't know. Would he know? Where is Michael Boyle? And there he was.
" Dance?"
How long is long enough?
"What?"
Sorry.
"Dance"
Alright. He hadn't really started to grow yet, not properly and when I stood up he was looking straight at my chest and I was wearing little heels. I thought he'll never make it through the petticoats.
"You play the flute don't you? Wanna come outside?"
It was twenty minutes past ten and daddy wanted me home no later than half past eleven.
He had dabs of that pink ointment stuff that burns on his pimples. He smelled of cigarette smoke and he was frightened he was so frightened. I never knew that a man boys would be frightened of it too. I sort of hunched down to let him kiss me and when he touched me I almost didn't notice it at all, a sort of dry dab on the outside of my panties. I remember he was so careful not to touch my legs then he wanted to go back inside.
MAN'S VOICE OVER
You must not. You must not. You must not.
PENNY
He was desperate to get back to the boy's corner and tell them and laugh. I could see them looking and laughing. But I took his hand before it could escape and pushed it inside my panties and showed him. Something got in front of the fear on his face.
"Quick. Quick Quick Someone might see us. Quick"
But I wouldn't let him stop and I made him so, he can't laugh at me. Not now he can't. He can pretend but when I look at him, he knows.
PAUSE
QUICKLY There was a baby. Of course there was a baby you expected that, it's been the rest of our lives.