A Mouthfulla Sacco and Vanzetti by Michael Smith

This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent

The Cast

Nicola Sacco
Bartolomeo Vanzetti
Clarisse L. Moore
Judge Thayer
Claude, the Maitre de'
E. Perry Thompson
Newsboy/Newsgirl
Kitty O'Shea
Chief of Police
Mr. Kanten, the factory owner
Earle Graves, the driver of the payroll truck
Benjamin Bowles, the security guard
Robbers 1, 2 and 3
Mister Parmentier, the payroll clerk
Mister Berardelli, the security guard
Police Officer
Prosecutor

Scene 1 Late Summer 1919 Boston area Sacco meets
Vanzetti

The stage should be split into two distinct regions through design or
lighting. In this scene the larger, main area is a busy neighborhood
restauranta moderately nice place trying to be more upscale than it
is. As a neighborhood restaurant, a broad spectrum of people can be
found there from working class to local officials (as will be seen).
The smaller area of the stage is the business office which opens into
the restaurant proper. In the main area, dimly lit are Judge Thayer
and the Chief of Police (seated together) and Clarisse Moore and Perry
Thompson (at another table). Vanzetti and Claude the maitre d' are
speaking in the office (fully illuminated).

VANZETTI: You see I'm a good worker. (poses)

MAITRE D': Yes

VANZETTI: I have work in restaurants all my life. I love food.

MAITRE D': O.K., yes

VANZETTI: Food is good. I will show you, O.K. You sit here. You
be the customer. I'm the waiter. Hello, I'll be your waiter.
Now, thisbookshe's a serving tray. No, hey, you sit on
serving tray. (makes Maitre d' stand) This serving tray, it's a
book. Please, sir, in this restaurant every customer sits. (Vanzetti
makes him sit and maniacally accumulates items.)

MAITRE D': Mr.—ah—Vanzetti? I have customers, real
customers.

VANZETTI: These pens, they're food. You see this is a glass.
This glass, it's a glass. I clean it for you. Nice hat. (Takes
hat) Pretend it's a uniform.

MAITRE D': My hat?

VANZETTI: O.K. What'll you have?

MAITRE D': My hat.

VANZETTI: I'm so sorry. Hats are not on the menu today. Perhaps,
you would like something else. Everything's good.

MAITRE D': But I'm not really hungry.

VANZETTI: Of course you hungry. This is a restaurant. Why else you
come here except you hungry? Besides, we have such delicious food.
(presents pens) Suchyou've never seen such a pile of straight,
juicy (gets ink on hand), ah… food. Now, what'll you have?

MAITRE D': I'll have a pen. Now look, Mr. Vanzetti

VANZETTI: Excellent choice! And not just one pen. Here, you get
plenty. (breaks "character") You see, as a waiterthis I'm
good at. I can even write with food. (resumes "waiter character"
and uses ink on hand to write order on other hand) That's one order
of pens.

MAITRE D': Mr. Vanzetti, really

VANZETTI: Fried? Oh, oui, you must try them fried. They are so
succulent.

MAITRE D': Succulent. (Grabs Vanzetti's hand and gets ink on
his hand) Mr. Vanzetti.

VANZETTI: Of course, sir. An appetizer? How about a delicious leg
ofleg of (looks about)leg of shoe. (Vanzetti tries to present
the maitre d's own foot to him. To keep their balance, both circle
each other, hopping, in an odd kind of dance.) You gonna love… We
catch these fresh every day from their nature.
Oh, they may seem tough now, but we slow marinate them and cook them
so rapidly on a spit. They turn out so succulent! Almost melt in
your mouth. Here, try this one. (When Vanzetti tries to stuff the
maitre d's foot into his mouth, they both fall down.) I'm a poor
man; I used to live entirely on shoes.

MAITRE D': Mister Vanzetti! (Wipes hand across forehand and hair,
getting ink on his face.) The owner has already hired someone!

VANZETTI: Hired someone? Then, I must cancel your order.

MAITRE D': Thank you so much for coming. I'm sorry. The new
man is coming any minute. A cousin of the owner, Mr. Versacci. Very
experienced. And competent. Good day to you, sir. (Maitre d'
exits.)

VANZETTI: Very bad day to you. (Vanzetti sits, adjust the maitre
d's hat and talks to himself, imitating the maitre d' .) I hire
people. (moves pens in play) Right into deep fryerhot and ready to
eat. Yum. (Sacco enters.)

SACCO: So sorry to disturb you. The food, she smell so good. I'm
a poor man. And hungry.

VANZETTI: (distracted) You come to the right place. Very good food
herepens and shoes.

SACCO: Could you give a poor man

VANZETTI: Of course, I give you a job.

SACCO: Job? I never work in restaurant.

VANZETTI: Oh, it's so easy. You like food don't you?

SACCO: I so hungry

VANZETTI: You can write things down? It's settled; you're the
new waiter. You start immediately. Here's a pen (gives Sacco a pen
and order pad); they're delicious. You're name's Versacci. My
name's Versacci too.

SACCO: Thank you? I'm sure I do a good job. I (maitre d'
reenters)

VANZETTI: Yes, very good. (imperiously, to maitre d') I am now
ready for my table.

MAITRE D': (to Vanzetti) Your table? (to Sacco) Who are you?

SACCO: The new waiter, Niccolo Sacco

VANZETTI: Versacci.

SACCO: Versacci.

MAITRE D': Mr. Versacci. A pleasure to meet you. The owner
speaks highly of you. Right this way. (motions Sacco to precede him
into the restaurant proper. Vanzetti butts in front, and as he walks
past, the maitre d' retrieves his hat. Lighting drops in office and
comes up mainstage.) It's a busy day today.

JUDGE: Maitre D'!

MAITRE D': Coming sir!

VANZETTI: Ask me where I'd like to sit.

SACCO: Where

VANZETTI: I'll take this table. Say, "Very good, sir."

SACCO: Very good

MAITRE D': Versacci!

VANZETTI: (To Sacco) That's you.

SACCO: Yes, sir.

MAITRE D': Judge Thayer is ready to order.

SACCO: Very good, sir.

VANZETTI: Not to him. To the customers.

MAITRE D': Quickly. The Judge is one of our best customers.
(pulling Sacco to Judge's table) Judge, our new waiter, Versacci.

SACCO: Sacco.

MAITRE D'/VANZETTI: Versacci.

JUDGE: Yes, yes. Are you Italian?

SACCO: Yes.

MAITRE D'/VANZETTI: No.

SACCO: No.

VANZETTI: Take his order.

MAITRE D': Why are you still here?

JUDGE: What's the special today?

SACCO: Pens and shoes.

MAITRE D': Minestrone and linguine.

JUDGE: (to Chief of Police) What country am I in? (to Sacco)
Listen carefully: Bring me a steak, medium, no more, no less.

VANZETTI/SACCO/MAITRE D': Very good, sir. (all three turn, hit
each other and fall down. There follows an extended sequence of falls
as Sacco first tries respectfully to help Vanzetti, while the maitre
d' tries to push him out of the way. They all fall and rise again
several times. Finally, Vanzetti has ended up with the Maitre d's
wallet. He opens it and finds nothing.)

MAITRE D': (to Sacco) The kitchen's that way!

SACCO: Where?

MAITRE D': Over. There. (Vanzetti replaces Maitre d's wallet.)

VANZETTI: Shout it from here.

SACCO: ONE STEAK, MEDIUM, NO MORE, NO LESS!

MAITRE D': Go into the kitchen! (Sacco exits) (to Vanzetti) Why
are you still here?

VANZETTI: That's my table. (sits)

MAITRE D': Well, sit at it.

VANZETTI: Aren't you going to take my order?

MAITRE D': No! (angrily leaves, smashing into Sacco on his
re-entrance, which causes Sacco to bump into Clarisse Moore's table.
Sacco and Clarisse share a meaningful look, and the lights change
signifying a moment of frozen time. All of the characters freeze
except for Clarisse and Sacco who break out Into a short romantic
dance accompanied by appropriate music. They come out of the dance
Into their previous positions. The lights change back to normal, the
other characters unfreeze and the scene continues as before.)

SACCO: I'm so… Please to you? I so to trouble you.

CLARISSE: It's no bother, really.

THOMPSON: What are you doing?

CLARISSE: Quiet.

VANZETTI: Tell her your name.

SACCO: Nicola Sacco.

CLARISSE: A pleasure to meet

VANZETTI: Versacci. (takes Moore's food.)

CLARISSE: Versacci?

THOMPSON: (pompously) And my name is—

VANZETTI: (to Sacco) Don't listen to him.

SACCO: I can't listen to you.

THOMPSON: Now listen, my good fellow—

JUDGE: Waiter, my bread! Waiter! Versacci!

VANZETTI: That's you.

SACCO: Very good, sir. Here, you hold this. (Sacco hands his order
pad and pen to Thompson and wipes his hands as he crosses to the
Judge's table.)

THOMPSON: (Now with ink on his hands.) What? Clarisse, what kind
of restaurant is this? Are you sure this place is even clean? You
know I hate these kinds of places.

CLARISSE: Well, I like them.

JUDGE: Waiter, I should have bread.

SACCO: “Everyone, every last one, should have daily bread.”

JUDGE: What's that!

SACCO: Bread.

JUDGE: Yes, GET the Bread!

VANZETTI: From the kitchen.

SACCO: Yes.

VANZETTI: That way.

SACCO: O.K., yes. (exits and bumps maitre d' on his
re-entrance.)

CLARISSE: Claude, my linguine seems to be missing. (Sacco re-enters
with bread.)

MAITRE D': (to Sacco) She needs more linguine. (As he moves to
exit, Vanzetti swipes his handkerchief on the way past.)

VANZETTI: (to Thompson) Hey, you got black on you hands. What do
you think this is? This is a restaurant. You should go wash your
hands.

THOMPSON: Is this a restaurant? But I will go wash my hands. If
you'll excuse me. (Exits.)

VANZETTI: You very excused.

SACCO: (smitten, to Clarisse) Still hungry after one plate?
(Vanzetti steals bread from Sacco's breadbasket.)

CLARISSE: I seem to have misplaced my first. (Vanzetti places bread
in Sacco's pocket.)

SACCO: Very good. (to kitchen) ONE PLATE OF LINGUINE, NOT ZERO,
NOT TWO! (moves to Judge) Your bread, sir. (gives him an empty
basket)

VANZETTI: His steak's probably ready. Go to the kitchen. (Sacco
moves rapidly toward the kitchen and collides with the maitre d' on
his re-entrance.)

JUDGE: There's no! Where's the BREAD! (to Chief of Police)
Stupid wop bastards!

MAITRE D': (Vanzetti unties and takes his apron.) I'm terribly
sorry, sir. I'll be right back with your bread. (moves toward
kitchen. Sacco re-enters and nimbly and triumphantly avoids a
collision.)

SACCO: Your steak sir, very good sir. (two inches from Judge)
MEDIUM, NO MORE, NO LESS! (maitre d' re-enters.)

MAITRE D': Your bread, sir.

JUDGE: The BREAD should have been here before the meal. (Vanzetti
snags the steak with a fishing rod and reels it over to his table.)
Bread last! Damn Italians! A simple lunch. All I ask is a simple
lunch. (roars) WHERE'S THE STEAK?

CLARISSE: (politely) My linguine?

MAITRE D': Your steak, sirI'll get it. And your linguine.
(grabs Sacco) You… are… fired. (exits)

SACCO: I'm fired. (Then with strange sincerity) I loved this
job. (pause) I'm still hungry.

VANZETTI: Hey, don't feel bad. The restaurant, she's a tough
business.

SACCO: Thank you

VANZETTI: Don't mention it. (Sacco slowly exits. Maitre d'
returns.)

MAITRE D': (to Moore) Your linguine. (to Judge) Your steak,
sir. I apologize most wholeheartedly. Please, it's on the house.

JUDGE: I should think so. (grumbling)

CLARISSE: Everything's fine, Claude. Really.

MAITRE D': You're really good at this?

VANZETTI: The absolute best!

MAITRE D': O.K., you start immediately. (lights out main stage.
Sacco outside, dejected, discovers bread in his pocket.)


Transition One

A newsboy/newsgirl enters during the scene change, wearily drops a
sack of papers, pauses, reshuffles a large stack of newspapers and
tries to look enthusiastic.

NEWS: (softly) Extra. Extra. (Then with more volume.) Extra!
It's an Extra! Noted anarchist Emma Goldman deported. (notices Sacco
and approaches him) Everyone should have daily bread. (Sacco
considers this and reluctantly turns over the slice of bread. He
exits. Newsboy/newsgirl returns to selling papers.) Extra! Extra!
Hey, you can read yourself about it right here. Extra! Extra! Red
Emma deported!

(Exits opposite side of stage.)

[end of extract]

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