A Mother Goose Christmas Carol by John Trent

This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent

SCENE 1

LITTLE BOY BLUE enters left

He is blowing his horn

He is playing everything off key

MOTHER GOOSE comes out of her house looking upset

MOTHER GOOSE: What is all that racket?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Hi Mother Goose. It’s me, Little Boy Blue. I’m
practicing for the Christmas program tomorrow.

MOTHER GOOSE: What Christmas program? Is it Christmas already?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Yes. Today is Christmas Eve.

MOTHER GOOSE asks these questions real fast and never gives Little Boy
Blue a chance to answer

MOTHER GOOSE: It is? Where did all the time go? Why do we have to have
Christmas every year anyway? Why is it always cold this time of the
year? Why does everyone have to eat so much? Why is everyone always so
happy? How did Christmas come so fast?

LITTLE BOY BLUE Also speaking fast

LITTLE BOY BLUE: It seemed like it took a long time to me. So, what
are you going to do for Christmas tomorrow? Do you have any big plans?
Are you going to visit family? Are you going to have a big dinner? Can
I come over for dessert?

MOTHER GOOSE: Why are you asking so many questions? You don’t see me
asking so many questions, do you?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Not too many, I guess.

MOTHER GOOSE: Well, just get away from my house. I need some peace and
quiet and all this noise is driving me crazy.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: What noise?

MOTHER GOOSE: You and that horn of yours. Don’t you have some sheep
to tend to?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Already done.

MOTHER GOOSE: How about your cows?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Done also.

MOTHER GOOSE: Did you feed them all that hay already?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Yes, but that gives me an idea.

MOTHER GOOSE: What?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: It’s time for my nap. If you need me, I will be
asleep under the hay.

LITTLE BOY BLUE runs off right

MOTHER GOOSE: Why do these kids always have to bother me? Why can’t
I just have some peace and quiet? Why does everyone have to ask so
many questions?

MOTHER GOOSE Exit into her house

JACK enters left with pail

JILL is entering behind Jack

JACK: Why did you push me down that hill again?

JILL: I didn’t push you down. You fell. You’re always falling down
the hill. Maybe you have vertigo.

JACK: What is vertigo?

JILL: It’s when you don’t know how you trip and fell down a hill.

JACK: But I know how I fell. You pushed me down.

JILL: No, I didn’t. You always blame me, but I have never pushed you
down that hill.

JACK: You did yesterday as soon as we got to the top of the hill.

JILL: No, I didn’t. I was standing on the other side of the well.
It’s not my fault you’re a klutz.

JACK: But you did push me today.

JILL: No, I didn’t.

JACK: Yes, you did.

MOTHER GOOSE Enters from her house

MOTHER GOOSE Why are you two out here yelling? Can’t you go do that
somewhere else?

JACK: Hi Mother Goose. It’s us. Jack and Jill.

MOTHER GOOSE: I know who you are. Why does everyone have to tell me
who they are?

JILL: We were just on our way back from fetching a pail of water.

JACK: We would have had plenty, (Turns pail upside down) but someone
tripped me, and I fell down the hill again.

MOTHER GOOSE: That’s nice but can’t you two go talk about the
weather somewhere else.

JILL: We weren’t talking about the weather.

JACK: That’s right. We were talking about a pail of water.

MOTHER GOOSE: Well, where does the water come from?

JILL: The well.

MOTHER GOOSE: Where does it come from before it gets to the well?

JACK: It comes from the sky when it rains.

MOTHER GOOSE: So that means you were talking about the weather.

JILL: I guess she’s right.

JACK: Yes. I guess we were talking about the weather.

MOTHER GOOSE: Then can you go do it somewhere else?

JILL: So, what are you doing for Christmas tomorrow?

JACK: Yes. Are you having a big dinner?

MOTHER GOOSE: Why does everyone keep asking what I’m doing for
Christmas?

JILL: Because it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

JACK: Yes. And everybody is always happy and having a wonderful time.

MOTHER GOOSE: Well, Christmas is not that wonderful.

JILL: Of course it is.

JACK: I thought Christmas was your favorite time of the year?

MOTHER GOOSE: Well it isn’t today.

JILL: Why?

JACK: Are you turning into a Scrooge?

MOTHER GOOSE: A what?

JACK: Scrooge.

JILL: Yes. Don’t you know who Scrooge is?

MOTHER GOOSE: I know who Scrooge is.

JACK: Then why are you acting like him?

MOTHER GOOSE: I’m not acting like him. I just don’t want to be
bothered right now.

JILL: You seem like you’re acting like him.

MOTHER GOOSE: Will you two just go away and leave me alone. I have
things to do and I don’t want to listen to your nonsense. Now go!

JACK and JILL run off right looking upset

MOTHER GOOSE: Why does everyone have to make a big deal about
Christmas on a day like today?

SIMPLE SIMON Enters left carrying a pie in one hand and money in the
other

SIMPLE SIMON: What day is it?

MOTHER GOOSE: Simple Simon. Today is Christmas Eve.

SIMPLE SIMON: It is? Then when is Christmas?

MOTHER GOOSE: Tomorrow is Christmas.

SIMPLE SIMON: Really? Then that must mean today is Christmas Eve.

MOTHER GOOSE: That’s what I just said.

SIMPLE SIMON: What did you say?

MOTHER GOOSE: I just said that today is Christmas Eve.

SIMPLE SIMON: I thought I just said that. Maybe it was someone else,
but I don’t think it was you.

MOTHER GOOSE: It was me. I just said today was Christmas Eve and you
asked me when Christmas was.

SIMPLE SIMON: Well that’s easy. If today is Christmas Eve, then that
means that tomorrow must be Christmas.

MOTHER GOOSE: (Annoyed) Yes it must be, so why don’t you just run
along and leave me alone.

SIMPLE SIMON: I guess I should get going. I’m on my way to buy a
pie.

MOTHER GOOSE Looking at SIMPLE SIMON for a moment

MOTHER GOOSE: What is that in your hand?

SIMPLE SIMON Looks at the hand with his money. Pause

SIMPLE SIMON: How silly of me. That’s my money. Now I have enough to
buy a pie.

MOTHER GOOSE: No! What is that in your other hand?

SIMPLE SIMON Switch hands with pie and money

SIMPLE SIMON: Wow! I have more money. Maybe I can get two pies. Would
you like to have one?

MOTHER GOOSE: And you wonder why they call you Simple Simon.

SIMPLE SIMON: Don’t be silly. I don’t wonder about that. They call
me Simple Simon because that is my name.

MOTHER GOOSE: Maybe you should get going before all the stores close.
You wouldn’t want to get there late.
SIMPLE SIMON: You’re right…

SIMPLE SIMON Starts to cross right. Stops

SIMPLE SIMON: Why am I going to the store?

MOTHER GOOSE: To get a pie.

SIMPLE SIMON: Don’t be silly. (Holding up pie) I already have a pie.
(Starts to cross left)

MOTHER GOOSE: Where are you going now?

SIMPLE SIMON: I’m on my way to go fishing. I’m going to catch a
whale. Merry Christmas. (Exit)

MOTHER GOOSE: Merry Christmas! Why is everybody so cheerful about it
today anyway? It’s not until tomorrow. Hopefully no one else comes
by and bothers me. I would like to take a nap. This headache is
driving me crazy.

MOTHER GOOSE exits into her house

LIGHTS OUT


SCENE 2

JACK enters followed by JILL

JACK: I can’t believe how grumpy she was. She’s never been like
that before.

JILL: Maybe it’s because of you. You were making a lot of noise.

JACK: No, I wasn’t. It was you making all the noise.

JILL: You just can’t take responsibility, can you?

LITTLE BOY BLUE enters

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Have you two seen Mother Goose today?

JACK: Yes, we did. She’s in a very bad mood.

JILL: She doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas this year.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: I know. It was always her favorite holiday.

SIMPLE SIMON enters

SIMPLE SIMON Hey you guys. What are you talking about?

JACK: We’re talking about Mother Goose.

JILL: Have you seen her today?

SIMPLE SIMON: I’m not sure. I saw her, but I don’t remember when
it was.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: When you saw her, did she seem a bit different?

SIMPLE SIMON: No. She looked like the same person to me.

JACK: That’s not what he meant.

SIMPLE SIMON: If that’s not what he meant; he should not have
asked.

JILL: What he meant was, was she’s acting different?

SIMPLE SIMON: I’m not sure if she knows how to act. I’ve never
seen her act before. So, I don’t know if it was any different.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Did she say anything to you?
SIMPLE SIMON: (Suddenly remembering) Yes, she did. She tried to tell
me my name was Simple Simon. But I told her I already knew that.

JACK: Did she tell you anything else?

SIMPLE SIMON: She told me I was going to the store to go buy a pie,
but I told her I already had one.

Holds out hand that has the money. Pie is still in other hand

SIMPLE SIMON: See. It’s right here. (He looks confused) Now what
happened to that pie? I had it just a moment ago. Oh. I still have
some money. I guess I will go buy another one.

JILL: Did she say anything to you about Christmas?

SIMPLE SIMON: Yes, she did.

They all wait for him to say more

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Well what did she say?

SIMPLE SIMON: Oh! She seemed a bit confused. She was saying something
about tomorrow being Christmas, but I told her it couldn’t be. If it
was, then that means that today would be Christmas Eve. And we all
know it can’t be Christmas Eve, because it only comes the day before
Christmas.

JACK: Well we have that all figured out. What are we going to do about
Mother Goose? She doesn’t like Christmas anymore.

SIMPLE SIMON: We can buy her a Christmas present. Everybody likes
Christmas presents.

JILL: But she doesn’t like Christmas anymore!

SIMPLE SIMON: Why not? Does it have anything to do with it coming the
day after Christmas Eve?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: No, it’s not that, but we need to find out why.

As the other’s have a conversation, SIMPLE SIMON begins looking
around the stage for something

JACK: Did anything bad happen last year?

JILL: I don’t think so. She seemed very happy last year.
LITTLE BOY BLUE: Yes, she was. She said it was the best Christmas she
ever had.

JACK: Then I wonder what happened since last year.

JILL: Well you were making all that noise today.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: I think it must be something more then that. You two
are always arguing and she has never gotten upset before.

JACK: When did you see her?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: About a half hour ago.

JILL: Well we only saw her about twenty minutes ago. So, you saw her
before we did and she was upset with you?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Well she was upset with me for playing my horn.

JACK: Well that’s it. You made her mad with that horn.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: She always loves to hear me play. She always tells me
I’m the best.

JILL: Maybe she was just being honest with you for the first time.

JACK: Yeah. You’re really not that good.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: Do you think you can do better?

JACK: I’m sure I could. Anybody can.

SIMPLE SIMON Coming over to the other three

SIMPLE SIMON: Have you three seen a pie? I had one, but I seem to have
lost it.

LITTLE BOY BLUE, JACK and JILL are a bit annoyed

They point to the pie in his hand

SIMPLE SIMON thinks they are pointing past him

SIMPLE SIMON: Yes, it’s over there. Thank you. I have been looking
for it for awhile and couldn’t find it.

SIMPLE SIMON goes over to the direction where he thought they were
pointing and begins looking again
JILL: We really need to stop arguing about this stupid horn.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: It’s not a stupid horn and I play very well.

JILL: Yes, you do, but let’s get back to trying to figure out what
is wrong with Mother Goose.

JACK: You’re right. She’s been acting like a real Scrooge.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: That’s it!

JACK: What? You think her body was taken over by Scrooge?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: No, but if she’s been acting like one, maybe we can
do for her what all those ghosts did for Scrooge.

JILL: I don’t know if we can get those ghosts to come help us out.

LITTLE BOY BLUE: No. I’m sure we can’t, but there are enough of us
and there are some others we can get to help.

JACK: That sounds like a good idea, but do you think it will work?

JILL: Do you have a better idea?

LITTLE BOY BLUE: I’m sure it will work. Let’s get going and I’ll
tell you my plan on the way.

JACK, JILL and LITTLE BOY BLUE exit.

[End of Extract]