48 Mini Plays by Cenarth Fox
48 MINI-PLAYS
Royalty-free
Registered schools, theatre companies and individuals may perform these plays without payment of a performing fee
PUMPING IRON
Torso and Bicep are fit, athletic types wearing workout clothes
They are working out in a gym - rowing, lifting weights, sit-ups, etc.
Snowy is not-too-serious about working out
Kidda is absent
Fitness
(Pumping iron) Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. (Stops. Pleased) How's that? One hundred in record time.
Torso
(mimes rowing) Four, three, two, one. (Stops) Beat that! Ten K's, flat out.
Bicep
(On another machine) Seven, eight, nine, ten. (Stops. Pleased) Brilliant; a personal best.
Snowy
(Stops) You guys wanna take it easier. You're pushing too hard.
Fitness
No pain, no gain. (Others agree)
Torso
(To Snowy) You're afraid of hard work.
Bicep
Yeah, wimp. (Others laugh)
Snowy
A fabulous body doesn’t guarantee strength.
Fitness
We know. Look at you.
(Kidda enters. S/He is overweight, wears a tracksuit and carries a towel)
Snowy
Kidda? Kidda Smith!
(Kidda and Snowy shake hands. Good friends who haven't met for ages)
Kidda
Snowy. Hey! You look great, mate!
Snowy
Yeah, well I can't really say the same for you. (Kidda is overweight)
Kidda
(Patting fat stomach) No. Bit overweight I'm afraid.
Torso
A bit?
Snowy
Sorry. Kidda meet Fitness, Torso and Bicep.
(They greet one another)
Bicep
Come to shed a ton or two have we?
(Others giggle/smirk)
Snowy
Now fair go. Kidda was our school champion.
Fitness
What at? Eating? (Others laugh)
Kidda
I know it's hard to hard to believe but once I could bench-press 200 pounds.
Torso
Yeah, well that I find impossible to believe.
Snowy
It's true. I won a few bucks betting on Kidda. And I'd still back ya!
Kidda
Don't be stupid.
Snowy
I'd give 10 to 1 to prove you haven't lost it.
Bicep
You're on.
Snowy
(Suddenly panics) It was a joke.
Kidda
Always a joker was our Snowy.
Fitness
I'm in. Here's a hundred. (Hands money to Snowy)
Snowy
I was kidding. Tell them, Kidda.
Kidda
Well I know you were but you did say "10 to 1".
Snowy
(Annoyed) Kidda!
Torso
Here's my ton.
(Hands money to a nervous Snowy)
Bicep
And mine.
(More money handed to Snowy)
Fitness
That's 300 at 10 to 1.
Snowy
Are you mad? That's three grand!
Torso
Plus our 300 back when we win.
Kidda
Now hang on. I agree Snowy made the bet but I didn't agree.
(Others disappointed. Snowy delighted)
Snowy
That's right. Kidda didn't agree. All bets are off.
(Snowy tries to return the money but is foiled)
Bicep
Just a minute. Kidda might agree.
Snowy
S/He won't. Kidda, tell them it's not on.
Fitness
Kidda, say it is on and I'll give you a hundred if you make it.
Snowy
No!
Torso
Me too!
Bicep
And me.
Kidda
Let me get this straight. If I try this and fail, Snowy owes three grand? If I make it, Snowy gets three hundred and so do I?
Fitness
Perfect.
Kidda
(Looks at Snowy then the others) Sorry Snow, I need the dough.
Snowy
(Despairing) Yeah, but you've got nothing to lose!
(Kidda is helped onto bench beneath bar with weights. Gambling trio offer encouragement. "This way, Kidda ... You'll be right ... We'll catch it" etc
Torso
Right. Ten bench presses in one minute.
Snowy
No!
Bicep
(Looking at watch) Ready? Go!
Kidda starts lifting
Trio count aloud. "One"
At first they are cocky and confident
2nd, 3rd and 4th lifts are fairly easy
5th is hard work
At 6th the tempo slows
7th is a struggle, but Kidda just makes it
Bicep
(After trio says "Seven") Twenty seconds to go.
8th is a struggle, Kidda makes it.
9 is a killer, Kidda just makes it
Five seconds! (Kidda heave) Three, two, one, zero!
Kidda heaves bar up
Snowy rapt
Trio stunned
Kidda exhausted
Snowy
Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh Kidda, you're beautiful! (Big embrace) You are beau-ti-ful!
Trio drop money onto Kidda's heaving chest then exit disgusted
Snowy helps Kidda to sit
Kidda
I'm dying.
Snowy
300 in readies, Kidda. How did you do it?
Kidda stands, unzips top, and reveals lots of foam padding
Kidda is really trim
Kidda
The same way as last week, stupid!
Kidda hits Snowy with the foam and they both exit laughing
Discussion Points & Follow-up Activities
- Working-out is very popular today. Why? Discuss.
- Can you over-do your exercise activities?
- A con or trick or scam or sting was portrayed in this mini play. How does it compare with the action in Pig Out, Graffiti and Reading of the Will?
THE HACKER
Operator sits at desk facing front and tapping on real or imaginary
keyboard. Hollow monitor (a box) is facing front adjacent to Hacker. The
actor playing the computer sits/kneels behind monitor and holds various
cards inside the monitor. The actor embellishes the word/s on the cards
Hacker
(Tapping keys) Okay baby, talk to me. Are you there?
Computer
(Card displayed reads "Hello") Yes my friend, I'm here.
Hacker
Now what is your password? You being inside the exam centre, is it TEST?
Computer
(Card shows "No") Sorry old hacker. The answer is "No".
Hacker
Not to worry. I'll get you yet. How about EXAM?
Computer
(Card shows "Wrong") Wrong. No way, Jose.
Hacker
(Frustrated, taps keys) Come on, speak to me. You've got the questions
for my exam next week. Now, is your password QUESTIONS?
Computer
(Card shows "No") Wrong password. Please try again.
Hacker
Not so much of this "please" business you smug piece of plastic. Just tell
me your password. How about ANSWERS?
Computer
(Card shows "Wrong") Don't be stupid. That's far too easy.
Hacker
I'm known for my patience. Do you know I've spent 200 hours devising a
complex program to help me cheat?
Computer
(Card shows "Big deal!") Wrong command. Press any key.
Hacker
I've got the only copy of the most brilliant system. You're dealing with
a pro, buster. Now, how about PASSWORD?
Computer
(Card shows "Ha Ha!") Very droll. A password called PASSWORD.
Hacker
Okay wise guy, try this on for size. (Types slowly) What is your password?
Computer
(Card displays "Help") I need more information.
Hacker
(Getting excited) Yes. Of course. Ah .... (Types slowly) Please reveal your
password. (Very slowly) I am a friend.
Computer
(Card shows "Hello") Greetings friend. Welcome to my program.
Hacker
(Thrilled) Eureka! Now. (Typing) Display exam questions.
Computer
(Card reads "Please") Please.
Hacker
Oops. Sorry. (Typing) Please.
Computer
(Card shows "?") Are you sure?
Hacker
Yes. Of course I'm sure.
Computer
(Card again shows "?") I mean really sure?
Hacker
Look I'm a hacker, I've broken your code. Don't get all huffy. To the victor
the spoils. Now, display.
Computer
(Card shows "Danger")
Spoils is right. Here's your answer.
(Card shows "Crash!")
Hacker
(Aghast) Crash!? But I hacked into your program.
Computer
(Sign shows "Error') Wrong. You hacked into my trap!
Hacker
(Becoming desperate) Trap? What trap?
Computer
(Card shows "Hacker proof") Designed especially for hackers. Once they
get in they automatically lose all their other programs.
Hacker
(Panics) What! (Hits keys) Save! Save! Undo! Delete! Page Up! Page
Down! Help! User Friendly!
Computer
Wrong command.
Hacker
My 200 hours. I've lost all my work!
Computer
Still wrong command.
(Displays card showing "Sucker!')
(Cry of anguish from Hacker who stands and cries to heavens)
Discussion Points & Follow-up Activities
1. What is hacking? How does it work?
2. Is hacking illegal? If so, what are the penalties for anyone convicted of
hacking?
3. Why would companies not want to be the victim of hacking?
4. How do computers affect your life?
5. What does the expression "Cheats never prosper" mean?
6. What would be a good moral for this play?
7. Computers can do many things. What is the most important thing a
computer can't do?
8. What is a computer virus? How does it travel? What effects can it have
on a computer program?
9. What happened to the hacker? Did s/he pass their exams?
PAY ATTENTION
(Four or more plane passengers sit in a row facing front. You could have
another row of passengers behind but they are not part of the action. The
flight attendant stands in the aisle, the gap in the row of seats also facing
front. The reason everyone is facing the same way is so that the audience
can see all the action. The play begins with the passengers arriving,
checking their seat numbers and taking their seats)
Attendant
(To Passenger 1) May I take your coat, sir? (madam)
Passenger 1
(Handing over coat) All right. (Attendant takes coat upstage) And see it’s
hung properly. No creases.
Passenger 2
(Looking around) Where’s the paper trolley? (Calling) Oi!
(Attendant returns)
Attendant
You bellowed, sir? (madam)
Passenger 2
I want the Herald. (Or other well-known newspaper in your area)
Attendant
Certainly sir (madam).
(Reaches behind seats and produces newspaper which is taken and
then read by Passenger 2)
Passenger 1
I want a hot towel immediately.
Attendant
I’ll just be a moment, sir (madam).
Passenger 1
Now. My hands are unclean.
(Attendant goes upstage and returns with towel handed over with tongs.
PASSENGER1 takes towel and makes big issue of personal hygiene)
Passenger 3
Where are the drinks. I want a scotch and soda.
Attendant
Of course, sir (madam). Won’t be a moment.
Passenger 3
Now!
(PASSENGER 3 glares at Attendant who moves upstage and returns with drink.
The plastic cup could be empty to avoid an accident)
Passenger 3
About time, too.
Passenger 4
Where are my headphones?
Attendant
(Reaching behind seats and producing headphones) Here you are sir (madam).
(PASSENGER 4 takes headphones and puts them on)
Passenger 1
Don’t we all get headphones?
Attendant
Indeed you do, sir (madam).
(Hands set to PASS 1. Offers set to PASS 2) Sir? (Madam?)
Passenger 2
Can’t you see I’m reading?
Attendant
I beg your pardon.
(ATTENDANT replaces headphones and moves upstage. Passengers drink,
read paper, listen to music, etc. One or more could fiddle with music
controls and become frustrated. Attendant moves back down holding life
jacket. The passengers ignore the attendant)
Ladies and gentleman if I could have your attention please.
(Passengers ignore her)
This brief demonstration is important. Here are some safety instructions.
In the event of a fire please go to the nearest exit. Your nearest exit is
where I am pointing.
(Attendant points and is ignored by passengers. Newspapers, magazines,
drinking, wiping hands and face, etc are all performed by passengers who
totally ignore the attendant)
There is a life jacket under your seat and oxygen mask provided and in
an emergency, your life jacket and mask will automatically appear. If you
have a child or elderly person with you, make sure you place the mask on
your own face first. This is most important.
(Another burst of being ignored as the passengers do whatever except
pay attention. The attendant shakes his/her head and decides to improvise)
Now if you are ugly, rude and a real pain in the neck like the passenger
in seat 23A, you should watch your behaviour very carefully.
(The passengers continue ignoring attendant) Mind you a fusspot, a finicky,
fanatical fusspot like the passenger in 24A will get really messy in the
event of an emergency landing.
(No-one pays attention not hearing the insults)
Or if you’re a boring know-all like the passenger in 23B then
nobody could care less what happens to you, Goose-Features. There is a
pamphlet in the back of the seat in front of you. It doesn’t have any
information about drunken morons like the passenger in 24B but then
idiots are a dime a dozen. (No reaction from passengers) So here’s
hoping we don’t have a crash but if we do, it couldn’t happen to a nicer
(Louder) bunch of losers. (Passengers suddenly pay attention and stare
at attendant who speaks normally in friendly manner) Thank you for
choosing to fly with us and please enjoy the flight.
(Attendant smiles, turns and exits upstage as passengers look at one
another wondering what the heck they have just missed. Curtain falls)
Discussion Points & Follow-up Activities
1. Discuss the demonstration which takes place on all large planes
during the taxi time on the runway. What is said? Is it important?
2. Noel Coward once asked, “Why do the wrong people travel when
the right people stay at home?” What did he mean by this question? Is
there such a thing as an obnoxious tourist?
3. If you travel by plane on a regular basis, can you understand why
such people wouldn’t pay attention to a flight attendant’s speech?
4. Can you think of other places and situations where the worker
would like to really speak their mind to a customer? Give an example.