No No A Million Times No - Only a Farmer's Daughter

You'll get a good idea of the general hilarity from the song titles which include the likes of "No Mother to Guide Her" and "The Villain Still Pursued Her"

It begins when Stafford Blackman lures Nellie Quackenbush, innocent farmer's daughter, to the big city for the purpose of wedlock (or so she thinks!)

But when Nell gets there, she senses he "won't do right by Nell" and flees while she is still "pure as the driven snow" returning to the farm and the arms of her country sweetheart, Noble Hart

There are also several "sub-romances" running through the story

It's all screamingly funny, easy to cast and produce and is an ideal feature item in a variety show or revue

The script contains the full text with stage directions and the piano score of all the music

Characters ...

AMOS (PAPPY) QUACKENBUSH - a farmer
NELLIE QUACKENBUSH - the farmer's daughter
BIRDIE SEED - the farmer's housekeeper
EMMELINE - the farmer's hired gal
NOBLE HART - the farmer's neighbor
IFFY CANN - a young country boy
STAFFORD BLACKMAN - a city slicker
GWENDOLYN FINEFEATHERS - his lady friend
DELLA - a young city girl
ELLA - a young city girl
KATE - a young city girl
DUPLIKATE - a young city girl
CHORUS - modern boys and girls, old fashioned milkmaids, and farm boys